Monday, July 31, 2006

Luke Skywalker

Want to know who the next American tennis superstar is? Well, according to today's Washington Post, it's this dude. He's 6'6", 18 years old, and he's got Jim Courier and Patrick McEnroe up his ass. Rafael Nadal... you have been served.

In other tennis news, the Legg Mason gets under way today down in D.C. Agassi, Roddick and James Blake are all in the draw, as well as Lleyton Hewitt and a certain American teenage wunderkind. Coverage is on ESPN2.

Some feel Querrey could be answer for U.S. tennis (Washington Post)

Hit the road, wack

Although I find it hard to believe that anyone in Philly is mourning the loss of Bobby Abreu to the Yankees (let's face it - overpaid underachievers like Abreu all flock to the Bronx eventually), the general tenor of the sports page today is one of great malaise. Jim Salisbury rues the deal as a salary dump. There's a piece on Abreu's highlights as a Phil - all those opulent numbers - sound and fury signifying less than nothing. And finally, there's 12 new slogan ideas for the post-Abreu Phillies. My favorite - "Stop whining, or we'll buy the Sixers too."

Personally, I love the Abreu move. Phils are in the tank this year anyway. Get rid of the Abreu-tross and dump Lidle on George as well. You know what we say down in the Mothership - wait till next year, or, you know, some other year.

Deal nothing more than a salary saver (Philly Inquirer)
Going, going, gone (Philly Inquirer)
12 New Slogan Ideas for the Phillies (Philly Inquirer)

Sunday, July 30, 2006

I say GODDAMN that was a good massage...


In today's Washington Post, Justin Gatlin's coach, Trevor "Balco" Graham, claims that Gatlin was set up for a postive test for an anabolic steroid by an evil massage therapist.

Dah... we'll get back to you on this one.

Gatlin's coach blames massage therapist (Washington Post)

We all shot J.R.

Like most boys, I imagine, who were ten years old in 1980, J.R. Richard was fascinating to me. I loved his name, I loved that he was 6'8", and I loved the fact that he mowed motherfuckers down like it weren't no thing. He was the most exciting pitcher in the majors, and I, a young power pitcher myself, idolized him. Despite the fact that he was black and I was white, that he was a righty and I was a lefty, for about a year there I was always J.R. Richard in our backyard wiffle ball All-Star games. "J.R. Richard starting for the N.L.," I would proclaim, and only later would I morph into Steve Carlton, and that tells the story right there.

I remember getting teased by other kids when the Richard controversy began that summer, when he started leaving games early and complaining of exhaustion, when the rumors began that he was losing his marbles. "He's just a lazy nigger," I heard often from kids in the overwhelmingly racist white Philly suburb of my youth. Though I would never say such a thing myself, had been taught never to utter that word, I confess I started to think something along the same lines. I was embarrassed that I had liked him so much and now he was turning out to be a nutcase. I started to make fun of him too - I would take myself out of wiffle ball games as Richard and exagerratedly say, "Oh I'm too tired to pitch anymore, I need to go see the doctor..."

On July 30th, 1980, 26 years ago today, the world learned that J.R. Richard was not lazy, or crazy, but dangerously ill. He had a massive stroke due to an arterial blockage in his right shoulder and nearly died. His career was effectively over, and a downward spiral began in his life that would lead to homelessness and despair.

What happened to this man was an enormous tragedy, and what the public made of it was a heinous crime. I was only ten years old - what the fuck did I know - but nevertheless, J.R., I admit that I joined the cackling masses. You were my hero and I turned against you. This many years later, that makes me feel like a coward, and I apologize to you wherever you are.

Roy Jones is on the pipe

Roy Jones won a unanimous decision last night over the much-feared 175-pounder, Prince Something-or-Other, in a cut-rate pay-per-view bout that did approximately 17 buys. After the bout, he proclaimed that he is close to his finest form, and that in two or three months he will be all the way back, better than ever. He then said that he wants to fight either Joe Calzaghe or Bernard Hopkins.

To which I articulate the general response - are you fucking high?

Isn't this the same Roy Jones who went out like a MOTHERFUCKING BITCH in Jones/Tarver III? Who took a safety first, please-God-don't-hit-me approach in the defining fight of his career and still almost got knocked the fuck out?

Brutha has gone stone cold out of his mind, and it wasn't like he had a full drawer of knives to begin with. Perhaps you are unaware that Roy has now blamed his anemic showing in the third Tarver fight on the Freudian psychodrama that his father's presence in his corner caused in his mind. If so, just read some of this shit Roy put out there from one of the Prince Whatever press conferences:

"You want to know the truth? The whole truth? You might get mad at me for telling you the truth, but I'm going to tell you the truth. If I knock him out, who'll get the glory? Everybody would have given the glory to Roy Jones Sr. No glory would have gone to God nor myself. So would that have been right? If I won that fight any kind of way my father gets all the glory."

That right there belongs in the Excuses Hall of Fame. The "I lost to spite my greedy father" defense. Plus, note the fact that he's worried that God won't get any credit for the victory. Roy Jones Jr. - a knight in the army of the Lord.


Roy's career is not hard to figure. Rarely has a fighter with such otherworldy gifts finished his career with such a complete absence of public respect, and that's because in his later years he has been revealed as anything but a blood-and-guts type. Once so fast that no one could lay a glove on him, when he slowed down a little (because of the Ruiz weight gain, because of age, because that's what happens no matter who you are), the fans, his opponents, and most of all Roy Jones all discovered something about Roy Jones - he can't take a punch to save his life. What's more, he really, really, REALLY doesn't like to get hit.

Which is fine. I'm not that keen on it either. Then again, I'm not a prizefighter. So Roy, do us all a favor and stop being one yourself. And whatever you do, don't fight Joe Calzaghe. You thought Tarver was scary - this motherfucker will have you scampering around the ring like Bugs Bunny running away from Yosemite Sam.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Please God, if you get me out of this one I'll never touch nandrolone again so long as I live...


Unlike you, with that pissass hangover you woke up with this morning, Justin Gatlin is completely fucked. News broke today that The World's Fastest Man tested positive for unusually high levels of testosterone in April, and now faces a lifetime ban from track and field.

Gatlin is a classic case, because he's said all along that he was going to be the guy that singlehandedly cleaned up all of track and field's drug problems. Evidently, he planned to do that with the help of a lot of drugs.

I'll toot my own horn a bit and tell you that I called this one in Athens, but then again, who didn't? Gatlin's coach is Trevor Graham. It doesn't take Miss Marple to get to the bottom of that one.

I like Gatlin, but as with so many cocky sprinter idiots, he throws around the Lord's name a little too much in regards to his triumphs and it's hard to feel too bad for him on the whole. He resorted to the old "I have no idea how this situation came to pass" defense, which is wearing awfully thin. Maybe, like Roid Landis, he will blame it on drinking too much whiskey. That was original at least. Or maybe something like this - "The night before the meet I ate this peanut buster parfait at Dairy Queen, but I swear, the shit tasted a little testosteroney..."

Gatlin, with Asafa Powell, co-holds the world record in the hundred meters. Looks like now the record belongs solely to Powell, until he tests positive for something, which shouldn't be very long in coming.

Gatlin Admits Failing Drug Test (BBC Sport)
Sprinter Gatlin tests positive (L.A. Times)

Your Excellency? It's for you...

"Hello... yes yes make it quick I am a very important man, I am Jacques Rogge for criminy's sake, I am the Emperor of the Olympics and many people are trying to bribe me right this second... what? what do I think of cycling? it's great no problems, cycling is a wonderful sport where men do things with cycles or some such thing... doping is one of those problems that happen when people go near to the doping places... yes yes goodbye to you Mr. Reporter Man I must go now to bathe in the blood of a thousand virgins..."

Rogge defends under-fire cycling (BBC Sport)

Here comes the story of the Hurricane

I know we've been a little Floyd heavy recently here on No Mas (no not that Floyd, fuck him already), but what are you gonna do? He's had a lot of good anniversaries, and look, here at No Mas we love Floyd Patterson.

On this date 49 years ago, July 27, 1957, Floyd Patterson won a tenth-round TKO over Tommy "Hurricane" Jackson at the Polo Grounds. It was a rematch. The first bout was one that elevated Patterson to mythical status - Floyd broke his hand in the earlygoing and still fought on to prevail in a bloody 12-round split decision. It earned him a shot to fight Archie Moore for the vacant heavweight crown.

After defeating Moore with a fifth-round knockout, Patterson, always a gentleman, granted Jackson a rematch as his first title defense. With his hand intact, Floyd dismantled the Hurricane, knocking him down nine times in the fight and leading on all scorecards 9-0 when the ref stopped it in the tenth. The beating he gave Jackson was so severe that Jackson's license was briefly suspended after the fight to protect him.

Hurricane Jackson was a rangy fighter, 6'4", with a long reach that he used to great advantage against Floyd in the first fight (this fight is worth catching, by the way - it used to be on Classic every now and then - keep an eye out for it - it's a brutal affair). He was one of those very good but not quite great fighters destined to be known by later generations only for having fought someone great. Count him with your Earnie Shavers and Nino Benvenutis and Rex Laynes. Besides losing to Patterson twice, Jackson has two other claims to fame - he twice beat Ezzard Charles, and he was trained by Whitey Bimstein, the corner legend who trained Gene Tunney, Harry Greb and Rocky Graziano to name a few.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Roid Landis

I remember a cohort of mine in the NBC research room at the Athens Olympics getting unreasonably irate when he learned that weightlifting was one of the sports on the IOC's chopping block for Beijing.

"But they can't get rid of weightlifting," he said. "It answers man's eternal question to himself - can I pick this thing up?"

We laughed about that with the ardor of two dudes who had been averaging three hours of sleep a night for a month.

The reason that weightlifting has been considered for removal from the Olympic program has nothing to do with its viability as a sport. As my friend so eloquently pointed out, it's one of the truly classical events, man versus mass, as essential as sport can be.

But weightlifting has become so tainted by drug use that it's competely lost its credibility. At every major event, winners are stripped of medals after positive drug tests. It's reached the point where this elemental sport is in danger of extinction. In the war on drugs, drugs won and weightlifting lost.

(Above is Leonidas Sampanis, who won Greece's first medal at the Athens Games, only to later break his countrymen's heart when he was stripped of his medal after testing positive for excessive levels of testosterone.)

It seems that cycling now finds itself at a similar crossroads. The Beatitude of Lance dominated the cycling stories in the U.S. for the past seven years, but elsewhere in the world, especially Europe, the subject of doping is never far behind when the topic of cycling comes up. From my Olympic experience I can tell you this - in Olympic media circles, it is understood as fact that Lance doped his way to the top. The circumstantial evidence is overwhelming. If he were anyone else - if he wasn't a cancer survivor with a bracelet empire, if he were just some other Texan shithead on a bike - the American media would have sold him down the river a long time ago.

Just as in weightlifting, the temptations to dope in cycling have moved beyond the realm of temptation. It's now a question of survival, as basic as - do you want to be competitive or not?

The strange thing is that the reason we want drugs out of sports is to preserve the quixotic "level playing field," and yet in both of these irredeemably tainted sports, the playing field is as level as can be. Everyone's on dope. The august I-berg put it best yesterday - "so that means Lance was still better than everyone else."

Yes it does. And that might be where we're at with weightlifting and cycling and... shit, let's just say it... the entire universe of track and field. It's not an ideal situation by any means, but if it comes down to just letting the athletes do drugs or obliterating their sports entirely, I say let them eat cake.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

No Olympics down in the Mothership


I guess the barbed wire rings on our logo didn't help the cause (being a Philly guy, I thought it was cute). But whatever the bullshit reason, the USOC yesterday axed Philadelphia and Houston from the potential list of American cities to bid for the 2016 Summer Games. Three cities are left in the hunt - L.A., San Francisco and Chicago.

San Francisco, okay. That's a good one. But L.A.? Fucking fuck, they already had an Olympics - they had TWO Olympics. Christ, why not just have them in Atlanta again?

And Chicago? Are you serious? Chicago makes the cut but Philly doesn't? All's I have to say about that is blow me. Philly will rise, fuck right we will.

USOC selects three cities to advance (USOC)

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

How the mighty have fallen

I also considered titling this post - "Does this mean we don't have to listen to him call matches anymore?"

But the "fall of the mighty" angle seems more pertinent, particularly when set against the fact that Andy Roddick, one of Brad Gilbert's former superstar pupils, just announced that he's hired Jimmy Connors as his new coach. Meanwhile, across the Atlantic, Gilbert is signing on with the Lawn Tennis Association to coach Andrew "The Little Wanker" Murray. And, lest we forget, help the LTA with "some other projects."

This is the same Brad Gilbert who brought Andre Agassi back from fatness and Brooke Shields, and then took Roddick to the top of the charts before being fired by ARod's gay mojo in December of 2004. Somehow, what that resume gets you these days is a gig with Andrew Murray and the LTA. It boggles the mind.

Cut to Wimbledon 2007. Murray hoisting the trophy on Centre Court, having just dispatched Federer in four. Roddick is only to be found in the tabloids, where he and Connors are trading insults after their acrimonious divorce.

As a postscript - I remember when Roddick had just hired Gilbert, I saw Agassi being interviewed, I think by Ted Robinson. Ted said - "I spoke with Brad earlier today... he said to tell you you're now his second favorite player."

Without blinking, Agassi deadpanned, "That's funny, because he's now my second favorite coach."

Gilbert accepts Murray coach role (BBC Sport)
BRAD GILBERT FACTFILE (sportinglife.com)

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Vida Blow

New zip in the old game indeed. Shit is called cocaine, yo.

On this day 21 years ago, baseball commissioner Bowie Kuhn announced that pitcher Vida Blue would be suspended for the remainder of the season due to his conviction on cocaine charges from the previous November. Blue had missed the season to that point serving a jail term.

Vida Blue was Doc Gooden long before Doc hit the stage. As a 22-year-old phenom in 1971, Blue won both the A.L. Cy Young and MVP awards, going 24-8 for the A's with a 1.82 ERA. He won 20 games in two more seasons, but he also lost 19 one year, and though he did not plummet with quite the trajectory of Gooden and the Straw, it was close. What once seemed like a certain Hall of Fame career was ravaged by blow.

Like Gooden and Strawberry, Vida's problems with the high life have plagued him long past his baseball career. His most recent stint at rehab was in 2005, after violating his parole from a 2004 DUI conviction.

You can't teach guts

The Boilermaker and Ruby Robert


July 25th, 1902. James J. Jeffries, The Boilermaker, the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world, fights Ruby Robert Fitzsimmons in a much-anticipated rematch at the Arena in San Francisco. They touch gloves, and it's on.

Jeffries, a Goliath of a man, had won the heavyweight title from Fitzsimmons three years prior, developing what became known as the Crouch to counter Bob's lanky, long-armed left hook. It worked like a charm. He finished Fitz in the eleventh of a bout scheduled for twenty.

Three years later, Fitzsimmons, a fiery Cornishman, was out for revenge. Rumors abounded before the bout that Fitz planned to fill his gloves with Plaster of Paris. "Let him do it," Jeffries replied. "I'll flatten him anyway."

In retrospect, such confidence was understandable. Jeffries went into the fight a solid 219 pounds of muscle, while The Ruby One weighed in at 172, which was heavy by his standards.

Still, Fitz gave a good account of himself, fighting with fury in the earlygoing of what was a surprisingly bloody affair. Neither man much cared for the other. Fitz in particular loathed Jeffries and yearned to regain the title that he had taken from Gentleman Jim Corbett back in 1897.

But it was not to be. Jeff was too big, too strong. He had his way in the middle rounds before unceremoniously disposing of Fitzsimmons in the eighth.

Ruby Robert would continue fighting until 1914, winning the light heavyweight title and, towards the end, the much sought-after Australian heavyweight crown. Meanwhile, Jeffries had only two more bouts in his prime, retiring undefeated before his comeback in 1910, at the age of 37, to try and unseat Jack Johnson for the honor of the white race.

But that's another story.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Hizzonah


I was stuck in some merciless traffic on the BQEzzo this afternoon, and so I turned on Mike and the Dog just in time to hear Mike welcome Giuliani to the show to talk about the ARod crisis. (Dog is out of town).

Now normally, I must say, the idea of listening to Fransesca and Giuliani suck each other's dicks on the radio for a quarter of an hour would make me sick, particularly when the process also involved the Mayor giving ARod a long-distance reacharound.

Today, however, the whole thing hit me a little differently. Giuliani impressed me. Say what you will about Rudy, but the guy is no fucking fraud as a Yankees fan. Mike gave him a little love on the Mayor for President front at first, but after that it was strictly baseball. Rudy more than held his own. He took the politic position on ARod's struggles of course - go easy on the guy, booing doesn't help, we're all on the same team, etc. But then, he starts whipping out shit like, "hey look, Matsui and Sheffield are out of the lineup - that's a couple hundred RBI's missing behind ARod," and then "hey remember Jeter a couple years ago, opened the season in a funk? guy was hitting like .160 in June..." and then, "people always say he didn't hit in that Red Sox series... look at games 4 through 7... NOBODY hit in that series but Matsui."

And I'm like - damn. If he decides not to run for President, he should take Michael Kay's job. I mean, maybe someone was feeding him that shit, or maybe he hit the books before the interview, but I doubt it. Giuliani can go fuck himself for all I care about his politics, but I have to give the devil his due. He's proven himself more worthy of that Yankees cap he wears than just about any politician in my lifetime.

Lance knows talent when he sees it

Lance Armstrong is impressed with this Floyd Landis guy and he doesn't care who knows it. Shit, he thinks so much of him, he's even considering inviting him to ride for Lance's Discovery Channel squad, where Landis once toiled as one of Lance's minions in the early part of the decade.

"We've always been interested in Floyd, he's a damn good rider," Armstrong told reporters yesterday. "We would take Floyd back. We have pursued him for some time now."

Floyd must be so honored. I mean, Lance Armstrong knows a talented rider when he sees one. You can't fool Lance, no way, no how. A guy wins the Tour de France, Lance thinks to himself, "Lance, that guy who just won the Tour de France... that guy can ride... he should be riding for Lance."

In other news, Lance also announced that he's starting a baseball team, and that he's interested in this guy Albert Pujols from St. Louis. Thinks he's a darn good player and would be happy to let him play for Lance.

Armstrong lauds successor Landis (BBC Sport)
Armstrong: Team wants Landis (Miami Herald)

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Only about 42,000 meters to go...


July 24, 1952, 54 years ago today, Czechoslovakian distance-running legend Emil Zatopek won the 5,000 meters at the Olympic Games in Helsinki. In doing so, he completed the second leg of what may be the most astonishing athletic feat of the 20th century.

It was a thrilling race, as Zatopek went from fourth to first on the final curve, outsprinting the leader, Great Britain's Chris Chataway, who two years later would help pace Roger Bannister in his historic four-minute mile.

Earlier in the Helsinki Games, Zatopek had won his second consecutive gold medal in the 10,000 meters, so his victory in the 5,000 made him only the second man in Olympic history to win those two races at a single Games.

Of course, he was not finished.

Rumors abounded in Helsinki that Zatopek would attempt to run the marathon and complete an almost unthinkable distance-running triple. After the 5,000, Zatopek was coy with interviewers. Having learned that his wife, Dana, had won a gold medal that day in the javelin, he told reporters, "The score of the contest in the Zatopek family is 2-1. The result is too close."

Emil, whose contorted, pained expressions when he ran made him seem always on the verge of collapse ("I was not talented enough to run and smile at the same time," he explained), had never run a marathon in his life before the 1952 Olympics. Nevertheless, he won it with ease. No one before or since has won the three long distance races at a single Olympics, and no one ever will. You choose your record - DiMaggio's streak, Ripken's streak, Gretsky's points - all will be equalled before Emil Zatopek's triple at the Helsinki Olympics.

Ricky you should lose that number...

Ricky just lose that number
You're gonna have to call somebody else,
Some other fighter, with a pulse

Ricky just lose that number
You don't want Arturo on the phone
Because your big Gatti payday
Just got blown...


Gatti defeat is a blow to Hatton (BBC Sport)
Baldomir's gain is Hatton's loss (The Sweet Science)

The Curse of Boardwalk Hall










Oh it was a painful sight, Thunder going out to rain his storm on Carlos Baldomir and effecting little more than a summer shower. This Baldomir has a chin to be noted. Gatti landed a few left hooks on the Argentine in the first round that would have felled many a hippopotamus, but elicited from Baldomir not so much as a "you got me" headshake. At that point, I knew this night would end badly for the blood-and-guts king.

After getting tattooed by Baldomir's right for seven rounds, in the eighth it seemed like Gatti suddenly decided to listen to Buddy McGirt and get on his bicycle a bit, snap the jab, avoid the center of the ring. Lo and behold, he won the round, the only round I had him winning all night.

Going into the fight, conventional wisdom had it that, as the quicker fighter for perhaps the first bout of his career, Gatti would box Baldomir, establish the jab, use the ring. The very idea is hard to imagine - Arturo Gatti up on his toes, moving in and out, staying away from nuclear exchanges. This is not the Thunder that we have come to love.

The Thunder we have come to love showed up last night, and spent the majority of the evening getting his face rearranged until finally ending up on his ass. The eighth round showed me that Arturo might actually have won the bout on points had he taken the sweet science approach. But this was Boardwalk Hall, these were his blood-and-guts fans, and he is Arturo Gatti. He threw caution to the wind for the umpteenth time and paid a dear price for it. As always, he took his ass-beating like a man. Let's hope it's his last.

p.s. Looks like Paulie Malinaggi's jaw is healed.

Born to be blue

Pee Ree Weese, born 7/23/1918


Don Drysdale, born 7/23/1936

There was no joy in Brownsville...


for the mighty Curtis Stevens got knocked out.

Words: Chris Isenberg
Photos by: Alex Tehrani (2005)

I went to the Hammerstein last night to see Broadway Boxing in the smaller ballroom upstairs. I wasn't expecting too much. The monthly show exists primarily as a vehicle to develop promoter Lou DiBella’s stable of fighters. Even accounting for the TV rights (it’s taped), DiBella complains that he usually loses money. In the long run, he hopes that one of the fighters he builds up at Broadway and retains under exclusive contract will make it to a big payday. Because today’s boxing marketplace is so unforgiving of even a single loss, it’s unfair to expect highly competitive bouts in the main events—or at least bouts designed to be highly competitive. You go mainly to schmooze with the aficionados, see a local prospect knock out a hand-picked victim, and maybe catch a punchy undercard.

I went to see welterweight Dimitriy “Star of David” Salita (24-0-1 14KOs) and super middleweight Curtis “Showtime” Stevens (13-0 11KOs) put notches on what they both hope will soon be championship belts. The two grew up together at the Starret City Gym in east Brooklyn, where, as has now been chronicled by every wannabe tough Jew writer in New York including me, Salita came in as the only Jewish kid in a very competitive, primarily black program and won acceptance (from Stevens and others) by taking his lumps, learning to slip and move to Hot 97, and staying true to his religion and himself. This week’s New York Magazine features the latest retelling of the Orthodox Jewish Rocky saga, and if Stevens hadn't moved up so many weight classes, he could play Apollo Creed.

In the last year, Stevens has been rapidly catching up to Salita on the hype front. His Brownsville roots, stocky build and knockout pop have led to frequent comparisons to a mini Mike Tyson. He was one of the first fighters signed to Damon Dash and DiBella’s new partnership, and his gangsterfied ring entrance and Brooklyn street cred make him a perfect prospect for a hip-hop boxing crossover.

The first surprise of the night was that Dimitriy’s originally scheduled opponent, James Wayka of Mounds View, MN., (14-4, 8 KOs), was a scratch. The word was that he had been arrested on some kind of alimony beef and never made it out of Minnesota (which seemed a little fishy since it would probably have made more sense to get him after the payday). It was then announced that the emergency replacement opponent, Shad “Crazy Train” Howard of Russellville, MO (12-7-3 6KOs) had missed the morning flight and was still in the air.

These mishaps led to an unusual amount of stalling between the preliminary bouts, which led to an unusual amount of socializing in the clubby ballroom upstairs at the Hammerstein. The Broadway crowd is always a racial ragu, especially when a black and a Jewish fighter share top billing. With Dimitriy drawing heavy with beard-and-yarmulke Lubavitch and Curtis Stevens with bandana and flat-brim Brownsville, the room had all the ingredients to make Crown Heights II, but somehow ended up feeling more like an interracial remake of Cheers.



In the row behind me, a black guy listened politely while a jowly Jewish dude held forth on the problems in the Middle East: “The Jewish Liberation was only two days old when every Arab country attacked them. Syria, Egypt, Jordan…every one.” By the time Stevens came into the ring at eleven, he was halfway through the Yom Kippur War.

Stevens’ ring entrance is half the fun of seeing him fight. He walked out of the dressing room wearing sequined turquoise shorts and a bandana over his entire face (including his eyes), and when he arrived at the center of the ring, he bent at the waist and swung his clenched fists back and forth just above the canvas in imitation of a gorilla. Finally he unmasked himself, stared down his opponent and sliced his hand across his own throat in a bold gesture that promised swift execution.

Marcos Primera, a 19-15-2 journeyman from Puerto Cabello, Venezuela seemed unmoved. Primera looked to be in his late thirties and he did not have sequined shorts, tattoos, a nickname, or Irv and Chris Gotti cheering for him at ringside. But he did have thirty six fights behind him, and as it turned out, a plan.

The plan unfolded slowly, and Curtis Stevens wasn’t the only one fooled.

For the first few rounds of a scheduled eight, Primera barely threw a punch. He stood almost fully sideways and absorbed heavy hooks and uppercuts from the shorter Stevens. Instead of shaking his head no after a clean shot landed to convince everyone that it didn’t really hurt, Cabrera had the unusual habit of shaking his head yes and making an expression which seemed to say: “Oh, Mr. Stevens your punches are so very hard. How will I possibly withstand them?” This affirmative head-shaking should have been a tip-off that Cabrera was playing possum, but especially after a cut opened up under his right eye in the third, his act was very convincing. He truly looked pathetic.

By the fifth, the one-sidedness of the fight and length of time I had waited to see it were combining to make me feel morbid. I had wasted my night to see another bum sacrificed to Curtis Stevens and it wasn’t even going to be a knockout. I floated a discontented theory to my gray-haired neighbor, whose name I didn't get but who I've seen before working corners.

“Guess he just wanted the free trip up from Venezuela,” I said.

“No,” he cautioned. “If he wanted to flop he could have done it on half a dozen of those punches. He’s got almost forty fights. He’ll do something.”

In the sixth, Stevens, who must have felt like he was fighting a turtle, started to tire, and towards the end of the round, Primera suddenly opened up and punched with both hands, landing long straight jabs and crosses. A dozen self-appointed coaches yelled advice to Stevens.

“Come on Curt, He got a bullseye right on his eye.”

“Give him a Danny Jacobs, Curt.”

“Overhand right when you slip the jab.”

“Tyson, Curt. Tyson!”


In the middle of the seventh, Primera trapped Stevens in his own corner and began landing his clean, damaging shots. Stevens suddenly looked very small. He dipped low at the knees as if he might buckle and then fired an uppercut directly into Primera’s cup. It was difficult to tell if Stevens had slipped or if he had struck out of desperation, but either way it was a brutal low blow. Cabrera flopped to the canvas in pain, and then crawled on all fours back to his corner. Brownsville found it a little too dramatic.

“Yo, stop fakin!”

For a moment it seemed like there might be an immediate disqualification, but after consulting with commissioner Ron Scott Stevens at ringside, the referee gave Primera five minutes to recover. If he had been unable to continue at that point, the fight would have gone to the cards, and Stevens would have easily won a unanimous decision. But at the end of the injury time, Primera signaled that he was ready to go on.

In the eighth, both fighters' cards were on the table. Primera had saved up his resources for one more big round. Stevens was frustrated and tired, but all he needed to do was stay on his feet.

I didn’t actually see the punch that did Curtis Stevens in, even though I had the perfect angle. I don’t think anyone saw it well, certainly not Stevens. A few of the online beat writers huddled after the fight to make sure they had their facts straight. Consensus was that it was a right uppercut on the chin.

Stevens wobbled and Primera half-pushed him to the canvas and the referee called a knockdown. Stevens should have taken a knee and waited eight or nine seconds to clear his head, but there is no mandatory eight count in New York State. Instead he sprang up right away, and Primera moved in for the kill.

“Curt, tie him up!” "Grab him, Curt!” the self appointed coaches screamed.

Stevens did not or could not do this. Primera trapped him on the ropes again and began lining up and landing short punches to the head. Stevens didn’t move to block or counter, and the referee jumped in between the fighters and waved his hands. It was a good stoppage. Stevens was out on his feet and defenseless.

Brownsville was stunned.

“Get ready to duck,” my neighbor said.

Primera didn’t have anyone to celebrate with (not even his own corner seemed very happy), but still jumped in the air and pumped his fist. The crowd groaned. Someone threw a beer. Someone else threw popcorn. A kid with a flat brim Mets cap jumped into the ring. Security guys in their black suits rushed in awkwardly, but weren't needed.

A young girl wearing skintight jeans and sequined white shirt began crying.

“He cheated!”

She pulled out a cell phone and punched in a number. She could barely get the words out as the tears streamed down her face.

“They cheated my cousin. They cheated my cousin.”

More cell phones came out. More calls were made. And in a few moments, everyone back in Brownsville knew that Curtis Stevens wasn’t undefeated anymore.

Dimitriy Salita looked slow and very hittable again, but managed a sixth round TKO over "Crazy Train" Howard, who may have wished he had missed the evening flight as well. Despite the victory, Dimitriy's fans were pretty quiet. Even though it wasn't their own man that fell, they had seen what it might be like to call home to Brooklyn with bad news.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

And speaking of dudes getting knocked the fuck out...


On this day in 1963, all-time No Mas Hall-of-Famer Floyd Patterson was the beneficiary of his second consecutive first-round knockout at the hands of the Mafia's own monster, Charles "Sonny" Liston.

Floyd was never a true heavyweight anyway, bulked up to 215 or so for the Liston fights, having fought the majority of his bouts in the 190's. And even in his finer moments, Floyd was no stranger to the canvas - note the nine total knockdowns he suffered in his brutal trilogy with the Hammer of Thor, Ingmar Johannson.

In short, though a great personage and an exciting stylist, Floyd was little more than an interim king of the heavyweights, destined to fall when he came across a true thunder-and-lightning man like Liston.

And fall he did. In the first Liston donnybrook, he went down once and for all at 2:05 of the first - in the second, he lasted only four extra seconds, going down for the third and final time at 2:09 of the opening round.

Both of the Liston losses were grave embarassments for Floyd, a proud and delicate man. It was around this time that he descended into a severe depression and started walking around in disguise so he would not be recognized on the streets. Strange guy, Floyd Patterson - the deeply sensitive fighter. We have not seen many of his ilk in our time, and there is a reason for that. He died this past May at the age of 71, graceful and thoughtful to the last.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Thunder Take a Bow


Dear Arturo,

Look, we're not going to tell you how to live your life. You are Arturo fucking Gatti, the ring warrior of our era. You are more No Mas than we at No Mas can ever hope to be and we hail you with a mighty "we're not worthy."

We saw the beating you took from Floyd, and like all of your fans, we wince at the thought of it. And though the writing has been on the wall for a while, we know you couldn't go out like that, not a true fighter like yourself. We're glad you came back to finish it your way.

But man, the recent death of Mike Quarry, and the memory of the death of one of your ancestral dopplegangers, Jerry Quarry - both dead from the effects of severe pugilistic dementia... Arturo, we fear for your safety. You've taken a lot of shots. You got a family that you love. You're a special guy and everybody loves you.

So here's what we hope happens. We hope you thrill the Boardwalk crowd one more time tonight, knock Baldomir out in yet another Gatti classic for the ages, strap on the belt, bask in all the love, cry a little when Larry Merchant interviews you.

And then tomorrow we hope you retire. On top, where you belong.

Godspeed,

No Mas

Adam Scott - "I'll eat Tiger's children"

Well, Tiger doesn't have any children, and Adam Scott didn't actually say that, but he did talk some smack today about how he could catch Woods at this year's British Open even though he's currently five strokes back after two rounds.

Clearly, Scott is on the roids, or hepped on goofballs or something. Because ain't nobody gonna hunt down that Tiger, and if anybody comes close it'll be Ernie Izzo and not Adam Scasizzo. Look, Adam, haven't you been paying attention? Tiger don't be LOSING no majors when he's on top of the leaderboard. And you know, you and your weenie little neck-duster don't exactly strike fear into Tiger's heart. "What's that, Adam Scott says he can catch me? Ooh, I'm the greatest player of my generation, maybe the greatest player EVER, and Adam Scott has a grand total of ZERO FUCKING MAJORS to his name, but for some reason I fear his power..."

Woods fears nobody. The way he's playing right now, the only person he'll be competing with this weekend is himself, to see if he can break his British Open record of 19-under, set at St. Andrews in 2000 on the second leg of the Tiger Slam.

Also of note in our general Tiger-Watch - showing that there is hope for the Middle East, Woods and Faldo evidently have buried the hatchet. Thank Christ.

Scott insists he can catch Woods (The Age)
Open diary: Woods and Faldo in ceasefire shocker (The Herald)
Woods Streets Ahead (sportinglife.com)

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Golf's dirty little secret


No, it's not that they're all racist Republican shitheads with airhead trophy wives.

Golf has a rampant steroids problem (take a look at that shot above of Paul Azinger and David Toms - juiced out of their minds), and finally someone is finding the courage to do something about it. The Royal and Ancient is going to carry out drug testing for the first time this year, not before the beginning of the British Open tomorrow, but at the World Amateur Team Championship in South Africa, held in October. As everybody and their mother knows, the World Amateur Team Championship has been plagued by absurd amounts of steroid use in the past, so thank fucking Christ the smack is being laid down at last, before one of these Amateur Team Golfers just up and dies on the course of some terrible roid disease.

Among the professional golfers currently suspected of juicing are... all of them. Every single one. Mickelson? Juice. Daly? Roid rage. Bernie Langer? EPO, crystal meth, grass, nandrolone. Woods? Are you kidding me? Look at that dude's teeth. The only way you get teeth like that is by using massive amounts of roids.

Hopefully, the PGA will follow the R&A;'s lead and this whole ugly era of golfing history can come to an end. Just like it has in baseball.

R&A; to introduce drug testing (Eurosport)

Flashback - July 19, 1987 - Harrison Faldo wins the British Open


Nineteen years ago today, a golf star was born, as Nick Faldo claimed his first major championship, the 1987 British Open at Muirfield.

It was an amazing feat, in that already, under his alias “Harrison Ford,” Faldo had become one of Hollywood’s most bankable leading men, starring in such box-office bonanzas as the Star Wars trilogy and the Indiana Jones movies.

After Muirfield, Faldo went on to win five more major championships and be recognized as the best golfer of his generation, all the while remaining as one of America’s most revered film stars. These days he’s much more concerned with his acting career than his golf game, but he is nevertheless taking time off from his busy shooting schedule to play this year’s British Open at Royal Liverpool. He tees off tomorrow at 9:09 a.m., EST, in a group with Tiger Woods and Shingo Katayama, both excellent golfers with less than compelling acting careers. May the force be with them.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Who is the man... who would caddie for his brother man?

Ah, the British Open. The tradition, the history, the undulating greens, the knee-high fescue. And of course, the celebrity-spotting. Roger Maltbie, Nick Faldo, some old haggis in a kilt, George Clooney... wait just a cotton-pickin minute here. Say what motherfucker?

Yes. Evidently George Clooney is a links jock-sniffer. He's been hanging around Hoylake all week getting tanked with Samuel L. Jackson. Which only proves the old adage - nothing says the British Open like Danny Ocean and Shaft drinking warm beer at the local till last orders.

In other news, Fred Couples and Phil Mickelson have been practising together (the cool guys) as have Davis Love and David Duval (the nerds). Ne'er the twain shall meet.

Open diary (BBC Sport)
Clooney seen drinking in English pub (Ireland On-line)

Blind, but durable


Umpire Bruce Froemming is nearing game number 5,000 as a major league umpire. He upped his total to 4,972 last night at PNC Park as the Pirates beat the Rockies 3-1.

Hall-of-Famer Bill Klem is the only ump in major league history to call over 5,000 games, ending his career in 1940 with 5,374.

So the indomitable Froemming seems Hall-bound for sure, if not for his game-total, at least for the glory of having thrown Billy Martin out of Game 4 of the 1976 World Series, or for having gracefully stepped aside and let Varitek make A-Rod his bitch. Then again, he did make a miserable call at first against the Phils in Game 3 of the 1977 NLCS, a call which this Phillie fan, seven years old at the time, remembers like it was yesterday. Hall of Fame or not, Bruce Froemming, Davey Lopes was out and you ruined my year. I hope you still carry the shame.

Umpire's total nears 5,000 games (Philly Inquirer)
Ump's fingerprints were on Phils' "Black Friday" playoff mess (Philly Inquirer)

Who killed Donnie Moore, why and what's the reason for?

As we here in New York prepare for the 20th anniversary of the ’86 Mets World Series triumph and what promises to be an autumnal barrage of drug and champagne-addled reminiscences, today is a day to remember a darker ghost hovering over the ’86 playoffs.

On this day seventeen years ago, July 18th, 1989, former Angels’ reliever Donnie Moore shot his wife Tonya three times in front of their three children at their house in Anaheim. Tonya and daughter Demetria fled to the hospital, at which point Moore turned the gun on himself and committed suicide in front of his two sons.

Would Moore have shot his wife, and then himself, had he not given up this two-strike, two-out, ninth-inning home run to Boston’s Dave Henderson in game five of the 1986 ALCS?

Maybe. We’ll never know. Moore was a troubled soul, plagued by depression and alcoholism even before the Henderson disaster. But clearly, that one pitch haunted him until his final moments. Moore pitched two more ineffectual seasons with the Angels, hounded by the boo-birds. He was out of baseball entirely by the time of his death. As Moore’s agent put it in the New York Times obituary for Moore, “He felt he was the next Ralph Branca.”

It’s odd how over the years Henderson’s home run has taken on the air of a fait accompli when in fact it was anything but, certainly no “shot heard round the world.” It was a blow for sure, a two-run homer that put the Red Sox up 6-5 in the top of the ninth. But the Angels came back to tie in the bottom of the ninth. The Red Sox won it in the eleventh, scoring the deciding run on a Henderson sac fly. Moore was still pitching.

That goddamn Dave Henderson.

Of course, the Angels still had two games left to make it past the Sox into the World Series (in retrospect a result that would have sat just fine with one Bill Buckner). But Boston romped in each effort, 10-4 in game 6, and 8-1 in game 7.

In conclusion, a few things to remember about game 5:

-Henderson did not start the game. He entered in the fifth for Tony Armas, who’d twisted his ankle.

-The Angels were leading the series 3-1 and went into the 9th leading 5-2. Don Baylor hit a two-run bomb off starter Mike Witt, and Angels manager Gene Mauch brought in Gene Lucas, who plunked Rich Gedman, bringing Henderson to the plate. Mauch called for Moore.

-For his decisions in the ninth, Mauch would be as vilified as Moore by Angels fans after the series, Mauch who still carried the stigma of having managed the 1964 “Foldin” Phils.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Buyer Beware


The word is that Bobby Abreu is happy in Philly and that if any teams out there expect him to break his no-trade clause, they're going to have to show him some serious money.

As a Phillies fan, I say, take the motherfucker, please. But as a purportedly objective sportswriter, I say... think twice.

Like most sports dorks of the male persuasion, I revel in statistics, but I confess that there is an emotional, Pavlovian co-efficient that I rely on heavily when assessing a player's true value. You can talk about how hot the fire is till the cows come home, but when you stick your hand in the flame, your mind goes to work for you long before the thought actually takes shape - "hey, this shit is hot, I should remove my hand at my earliest convenience." When a player has burned you, your synapses take note. Invisible stat sheets trigger an involuntary response at the mere mention of the offending motherfucker's name.

You know a player is truly great when you have rooted against him, and feared and outright hated the bastard. Roger Staubach comes to mind. My colleagues at my old show Classic Now used to think I had Staubach sitting way too high on the quarterbacks' Parnassus, but man, I'm telling you, when you were an Eagles fan in the late 70's and early 80's, the greatness of that son of a bitch was etched on your heart in acid.

On the flip side, you know a player is truly great when you've rooted for him and felt that warm, almost childlike sense of safety and confidence when he comes to the plate, or gets the ball, or does anything. Mike Schmidt is the embodiment of that feeling for me. He was a loathsome personality, and even as a kid I thought he was an idiot, but oh when he came up to bat in a big situation, I felt like I was sleeping in the back of my parents' station wagon on a long drive home from the beach. I was very content to put my life in his hands.

Bobby Abreu, for all his five-tool bluster and opulent power numbers and on base-percentages, for all that he seems that he SHOULD be, is not a player I trust in the slightest. I don't need to break out the hard stats to tell you this in all certainty - he is not worth the money he's being paid. On occasion, he is capable of extraordinary things, but those occasions are mercurial, subject to his inscrutable whims. Of the teams rumored to be interested in him, I can imagine only the Yankees paying such a price for so much sizzle and so little steak. And if they do, sweet Jesus, I can't wait to hear what George has to say about the deal come September.

The Agony and the Ecstasy


Twelve years ago today, July 17, 1994, the Italians lost the World Cup final on penalties to Brazil, an indignity that they managed to reverse this year in their bizarre final with France. These are the only two World Cup finals ever to be decided on pk's, and Italy factored in both, as if you didn't have enough good reason before to hate the Italians.

Every four years I sit around watching the World Cup with friends and eventually having the discussion about what an unsatisfying conclusion the penalty shootout is, how arbitrary, how stupid. I think since the 1990 Cup I've been breaking out this nugget - "It's like ending a baseball game with a home run contest!" How I love saying that.

The discussion always proceeds to the alternatives, and then descends quickly to the level of jokes, three-leg races, cock-measurings, fights to the death, etc. Because the only TRULY satisfying alternative is that the match be played again, and because for all sorts of reasons it seems that this will never happen, the discussion is a dead end.

It should be mentioned that prior to the penalty shootout, the method of tie-breaking was drawing lots. German referee Karl Wald came up with the idea of the shootout , which he first proposed to the Bavarian football association in 1970. After the Bavarians adopted the procedure, the Germans followed suit, and soon after UEFA and FIFA. The first major tournament to be decided on penalties was the 1976 European Championships, when the Czechs prevailed over the Germans (those are the Czechs hoisting their ill-gotten trophy up there), and the first World Cup match to go to the shootout was one of the greatest matches in World Cup history, when Germany won in pk's over France in the 1982 semi-final.

So... is the shootout preferable to drawing lots, or flipping a coin? I'm not sure. The shootout gives the casual fan some illusion of resolution, whereas the true football fan knows that there has been none. I almost prefer the random solution, just to emphasize the fact of the matter. This year's World Cup was plagued by the penalty shootout, two quarterfinals (including the epic Germany/Argentina match) and the final, all decided by penalties. Three flips of the coin, essentially. A World Cup final decided on penalties is a particular atrocity, one that we first saw 12 years ago today, and then again just over a week ago.

(Tell me once more - what exactly are the obstacles to replaying a drawn World Cup final? Just the final, mind you. If the rematch ends in a draw, then go to penalties. Why the fuck not? Someone explain this to me.)

Sunday, July 16, 2006

A sucker in a uniform waitin to get shot

Yo yo what is UP with the motherfucking NFL? Shit is getting like Death Row Records up in there. Dallas Cowboys' safety, Keith "Shoot My Ass" Davis, got shot twice this morning driving down the interstate in Dallas. Evidently he's in stable condition. ESPN's Len Pasquarelli writes that the details of the shooting are "sketchy." Oh word? I never would have thought.

For those of you with a short memory for NFL shoo-trivia, Davis also got shot in 2003 outside a night club. Holms needs to get some new friends.

At least this shooting ups the ante on all these wussy little stabbings that have plagued the league of late. For a rundown on why the NFL is the most stabtastic professional sports league in North America, check out this very funny, informative and on the whole stablicious piece from our friends at Kissing Suzy Kolber.

Next up... William Joppy

All right No Masians, let's have it. Something tells me you ignored my plea and went ahead and bought the Vargas/Mosley rematch anyway. So let's hear what you have to say. Me, I stayed away. I was tired last night, fell asleep around nine. Reading the papers this morning, it sounds like about what I would have expected. Vargas is shot, and Shane is... well, good enough to give a beating to a shot Vargas, whatever that's worth. You know my opinion - it ain't worth 99 cents in the dollar store. But then, I didn't see the fight. And you did. So people please, get up on the mike and educate, elaborate, elucidate. And mediate, mediate, mediate...

Oh Yoko


The Great One got hitched 18 years ago today, July 16, 1988. He married Janet Jones in Canada's first and only royal wedding. Prior to Gretzky, Jones had spread herself a little thin across the sporting and entertainment b-list, dating Bruce Willis (he was a b-lister back then) and being engaged for a while to Vitas Gerulaitis.

Gretsky first met Jones when he was a judge on Dance Fever in 1984 (think about that for a second), but evidently he couldn't pry her hands off Denny Terrio's ass long enough to chat her up. The romance didn't start until 1987, when they met again at a Lakers game. The Great One later told Howard Stern on the air that he banged her that night. Scored a goal and two assists. Classy.

The wedding was some opulent celebrity bullshit (click here for the CBC footage) broadcast live on Canadian television and attended by the hockey a-list (Gordie Howe) and the Hollywood f-list (Alan Thicke). Canada's love affair with Miss Jones turned to blind hatred in less than a month, however, as Gretzky was dealt to the Kings three weeks later and the nation blamed the ambitions of his "actress" wife for forcing the move to L.A. As far as I can tell, though Canadians have long forgiven Gretzky's treason, Jones is forever Yoko Ono to our brethren in the Great White North.

Of course, it doesn't help matters that she turned out to be a drooling, goggle-eyed, degenerate gambling addict now does it?

Saturday, July 15, 2006

What score?

Sugar Shane Mosley is currently ranked third by the Ring at 154, while Fernando Vargas is ranked sixth. The championship at 154, according to the Ring, is vacant, but a winner of Mosley/Vargas will do nothing towards settling that score.

Boxing is so starved for meaningful fights that it has managed to create the feeling for itself that this is one of them, which it isn't. It's a money fight between two big-name fighters who were major players five years ago and now don't figure in any way amongst the elite of the sport. Can you imagine either of these guys fighting Floyd or Jermain? Both of them have fought Winky - Mosley's two losses to him should have ended his career, while Vargas got a gift decision over him in 1999 when Vargas was the next big thing and Winky's name was mud. I'm sure Winky would take that rematch in a heartbeat, but it's not a fight we'll be seeing any time soon. Vargas isn't that stupid.

The hype generated from the first fight is overblown. Yes, Vargas grew another head on his eye, and yes, the fight was effectively even when it was stopped. But Vargas has a Gatti-esque history of swelling badly, and it just wasn't that great a fight in the first place. Mosley doesn't have anything on his punches anymore, and he's considerably slower and more leadfooted than in his days as pound-for-pound king. Meanwhile, Vargas is a shadow of his former self - still game as they come, but plodding and way too inaccurate with his punches to get off more than once per exchange. Plus, despite the Vargas mystique, I'm not so sure that he has much pop left either. He landed a lot of clean straight right hands in that first fight, and Shane, not exactly known for his beard, never seemed fazed in the least.

Why doesn't Shane take a crack at Hatton? Hatton is so overrated, Mosley might actually beat him, and either way it would be a money-maker. Or if they really want to prove their manhood so badly, why doesn't one of them fight Antonio Margarito and rescue him from that Winky "too good and not famous enough" purgatory he's in? Christ, Vargas/Margarito has big potential. Vargas would get killed, but it would be a war first, and if he managed a victory, El Feroz would earn eons more street cred than he will fighting Mosley again.

But no. Instead of a fight that might actually tell us something about these fighters, we're treated to this overhyped, bullshit rematch, all because the first bout did good pay-per-view numbers. No Masians, I ask you - do us all a favor and don't buy this fight tonight. Let's spare ourselves the ignominy of Mosley/Vargas III.

Second City

My pop and I went to the game last night and watched the suddenly scrappy Yankees sneak by the mighty White Sox. The payroll situation makes it hard to cast the Bankees as underdogs without sounding like a Republican, but when you beat the White Sox on the backs of Melky Cabrera, Miguel Cairo and some dude who couldn't make the Royals, I do think you get a few points for scrapping even if you did spend two hundred extra large.

In addition to being upset that the Yankees did not plate Cairo in the bottom of the fifth, my Dad reiterated his disappointment that he had not gotten enough attention for his excellent Lindsay and the Mets article in the No Mas x Frank 151 Sports issue. So in hopes of getting a few internet props for the old man, we hereby give you...

AMAZIN': Lindsay, Isenberg, and the '69 Mets

AMAZIN': Lindsay, Isenberg, and the '69 Mets




“ ...Tell Lindsay and the rest of the Mets fans to go fuck themselves.”






In 1969, during batting practice at Shea Stadium, Gil Hodges, the manager of the New York Mets, once a Brooklyn Dodger, walked over to Leo Durocher, the manager of the Chicago Cubs, formerly a New York Giant, and said “Leo, I was just talking to Mayor Lindsay on the phone and he said to tell you Chicago is still the second city.” Leo answered “Tell Lindsay and the rest of the Mets fans to go fuck themselves.”

The Miracle Mets of 1969 helped save the reelection of New York Mayor John V. Lindsay. In 1973, he returned the favor to baseball and the City when he began the renovation of Yankee Stadium, thus keeping the Yankees in New York.

To all of this there is a back story of which I was part as a young mayoral staffer in City Hall.


In the mid summer of 1969, the Mets were lagging behind the first place Cubs and the mayor was running behind in the polls. One night while we were campaigning in Brooklyn, I was listening to the radio. Tom Seaver had a no-hitter going. I suggested to the Mayor we go to the stadium; I had a feeling. Scheduled events stood in the way. The next day at a meeting, the mayor said he had seen on television that Seaver had lost his no-hitter, but that he admired how he and his wife, Nancy had handled it.

With sudden inspiration, I said why don’t you call Gil Hodges and wish the Mets luck. You can say you know what it is to have to come from behind (Lindsay had just lost the Republican primary and was running as a Liberal and Independent). And ask him to tell Leo Durocher that Chicago is still the Second City. Lindsay had to be assured this was okay to do. I said it was only late morning, the game hadn’t started.

I only heard his side of the conversation. Hodges left the phone for a minute and Lindsay wound up talking to Seaver. Then Lindsay roared with laughter. After he put the phone down, he told me what Durocher had said. I briefed the press corps and phoned a friend at WOR radio. Hodges was ahead of us in telling the press at the stadium. The New York Post, then an afternoon paper, headlined with a cleaned up version of Leo’s riposte.

What a gift he gave us. Shea is in Queens, a borough critical to the election and one that was sore at Lindsay over a lousy job of snow removal the previous winter. Leo put Lindsay and Mets fans together.

The whole thing took on a life of its own with telegrams to Mayor Daley of Chicago, tabloids in both towns playing it up and Lindsay predicting later in the summer that the Mets would take the pennant. He was right. From 91/2 down in August, the Mets came all the way back to win.


We were together at the first game of the World Series in Baltimore where I had advised him not to accept an invitation to sit with Vice President Agnew (a former Governor of Maryland) and David Eisenhower, President Nixon’s son-in-law, but to sit on the Mets side with their owners. He called me over to him in the seventh inning, “It looks like the Mets will lose this one. When I left New York, I predicted the Mets would win in four straight. What should I do?” I said, “There is only one thing to do. Hold up four fingers and say you are sticking with your prediction. Four straight.”



And so it was. After the last game of the Series, Lindsay went into the clubhouse and had champagne poured over his head. The picture was everywhere the next day. He went up three points in the Queens polls. In the victory parade up Broadway to City Hall, Lindsay rode in the open limo next to Hodges. at Gil’s invitation. That way, Hodges said, “you are boo proof.” They were in every photo and TV shot together. Lindsay won reelection weeks later.

In 1972, Lindsay called me at home one night and said, what would you say if I told you that CBS is considering moving the Yankees to New Jersey. I told him if that happened every newspaper would say the Bronx was dead and compare it to the Dodgers leaving Brooklyn. The Mayor responded, “I thought that’s what you’d say.” And so began our last baseball adventure, a deal to rehabilitate Yankee Stadium that kept the team in New York. Enter George Steinbrenner, and a new era began.

Words: Steven Isenberg

It was twenty years ago today...

The 1986 All-Star Game was held on July 15th in the Astrodome. The American League won 3-2 behind two home runs, each hit by second basemen - the Tigers' Lou Whitaker and the Royals' Frank White. Fernando Valenzuela tied Carl Hubbell's famous All-Star record by striking out five consecutive batters. Of course, Hubbell struck out five legendary Hall-of-Famers, including the trio of Ruth, Gehrig and Foxx, while among Fernando's fivesome of victims were Jesse Barfield and Teddy Higuera. But hey, a record is a record.

Here were the starting batting orders:


NL

1. Tony Gwynn, Padres - OF
2. Ryne Sandberg, Cubs - 2B
3. Keith Hernandez, Mets - 1B
4. Gary Carter, Mets - C
5. Darryl Strawberry, Mets - OF
6. Mike Schmidt, Phillies - 3B
7. Dale Murphy, Braves - OF
8. Ozzie Smith, Cardinals - SS


AL


1. Kirby Puckett, Twins - OF
2. Rickey Henderson, Yankees - OF
3. Wade Boggs, Red Sox - 3B
4. Lance Parrish, Tigers - C
5. Wally Joyner, Angels - 1B
6. Cal Ripken, Orioles - SS
7. Dave Winfield, Yankees - OF
8. Lou Whitaker, Tigers - 2B

Note the NL 3-4-5 of '86 Mets and the fact that AL manager Dick Howser decided to lead off with Puckett and not Rickey (and check out that signed Topps Rickey - shit is ill). Also note - this is a pretty impressive crew, eight Hall-of-Famers and two certain future inductees, Rickey and Gwynn.

Actually make that three. I left the best for last. The NL starter was Dwight Gooden, while Astros fans got a peek at their future ace in the A.L. starter, none other than - who else? - the Rocket himself. That shot below is him throwing the first pitch of the game. Not sur