K.O.W. - Martin Guard Your Grill

Lot of big name fighters in action this weekend - Antonio Tarver, Vernon Forrest, Chavez Jr., Jorge Arce, even ole Chop Chop Corley, who fights tonight in Miami. None of these fights, however, include top-notch opponents, and so are mostly biding-their-time, cashing-that-check type fights, especially for Chavez, who fights tomorrow night on flippin PPV against Ray Sanchez, a fact that should give you some idea of what kind of pull the name "Chavez" has in the Mexican boxing universe.

So without a big bout to plug, I thought rather than look forward to the Floyd/Hatton fight (we'll be doing plenty of that next week), I would look back to tell the story of a little-known ring classic. The fight I have chosen for our No Mas Knockout of the Week goes all the way back to 1994, when the Hitman Tommy Hearns took on none other than Martin "Raw Dog" Lawrence.

I know what you're thinking - how the goddang hay-ell did Martin end up in the ring with Tommy Hearns? Martin's like a featherweight and in '94, shit, Tommy Hearns was 175 in a speedo.

Well, see, it all went down like this - Martin fought in a charity boxing match where Hearns happened to be a celebrity judge. After stomping his man mercilessly (poor form for a charity event, but hey, that's how the Raw Dog DO), Martin threw an afterparty for himself back at his crib. Hearns showed up, disrespected the Raw Dog, and then proceeded to hit on Mardy-Mar's lady, the stupid fineness highness that is Gina. Still juiced from his big KO, Martin takes offense. After slinging a few choice insults ("They call you the Hitman? Well I just got a call from Sugar Ray... he calls you the GET Hit Man!") he challenges him to a fight, and it's ON.

Of course, in the cold light of the next day, Martin regrets his bravado and fears for his life. But then his soul brother number one Cole informs him that he saw Hearns getting onto an airplane earlier in the morning. Martin realizes, hey, Tommy Hearns ain't gonna hang around in town for no two weeks to fight me! He got better things to do! So Martin plans to train and show up for the fight anyway. That way, when Hearns doesn't show up, he'll look like the bigger man, while the crowd will think that the Hitman punked out.

Surprisingly, at the very last second, Hearns DOES show up. And despite the urging of Gina and the main man Stan ("sometimes it take a big man... to run like a little girl"), the Raw Dog goes through with the fight. What ensues is one of the more bizarre prize-fights in the history of the ring. Hearns wins by knockout in the second, and trust me, you ain't never seen a knockout like this? Marciano/Louis? No. Marciano/Walcott? Uh, not even. Hearns/Cuevas? Dah... Tommy gave Pipino a little love-tap compared to what he does to poor Mardy-Mar. Enjoy.