This Week in No Mas

4/8
Jesus in Augusta
Large gives his thoughts on Sunday at the Masters and the newest green-jacket recipient, Jesus-loving Zach Johnson. "The Son of God was NOT about to let down one of his peeps on Easter Sunday. Somewhere up there, Payne Stewart and the Lord were watching CBS and nodding together, solemnly."

4/9
This Ship Is Sunk
After Micheal Ray Richardson was fired by the Albany Patroons, I-berg revisits the scandal of Richardson's allegedly anti-Semitic remarks that he first addressed in Jews for Micheal Ray.


K.O.W. - Dud Dynamite
With Oscar/Floyd looming ever nearer, for our No Mas Knockout of the Week, we take you back to a millennial superfight predecessor, one that broke our hearts as well as Mike Tyson's face. "... This fight, though enormous in its scope, was really nothing more than the final sputtering act of a long Shakespearean tragedy of the ring, one that ended with a gigundous straight right hand."

4/10
Borne back ceaselessly into the past
On the 82nd anniversary of the publication of The Great Gatsby, Large examines the role of sports in Fitzgerald's masterpiece, from Tom Buchanan's football pedigree to a master criminal by the name of Meyer Woflsheim.

4/11
Deep Tennis with Steve Tignor
For years, the rumors have swirled, and it turns out they're all true. Steve did indeed play tennis with Cliff Drysdale, and at long last he's telling the tale. "On the changeover, he stopped me and said, 'Tignor, baby, a piece of advice. I’ve got two sides on my ground strokes, a forehand side—and a suicide.'”

4/12
No Mas and The Tribeca/ESPN Sports Film Festival
We announce our participation in The Tribeca/ESPN Sports Film Festival for the upcoming month. Gentleman, start your engines...

No Mas Presents - The Best Sports Movies You've Never Seen
Mr. Uni Watch himself, Paul Lukas joins the No Mas lineup to kick off our Tribeca coverage and our new series, The Best Sports Movies You've Never Seen. His entry in the sweepstakes? Hard Times, a bare-knuckles brawl of a movie starring James Coburn and Charles Bronson. "No Marquis of Queensbury rules here -- every bout starts with the fighters showing each other their open palms, to prove that they're not packing brass knuckles or small pipes, but pretty much anything goes after that: kicks, rabbit punches, kidney punches, shoving your opponent into a stairway. In other words, it's basically human cockfighting, and it makes UFC look quaint."

Would Someone Out There Please Release This Movie?
Large makes a plea for the re-release of the long-lost William Klein French Open doc, The French. "The French is not as compelling a movie as “The Greatest” by any means, but for those of us obsessed with the huge tennis stars of the 70’s and 80’s (meaning just about every tennis fan on the face of the earth) it is essential viewing."

Sharpshootin' with The Franchise
Oh woe is Franchise. I mean, the dude is inconsolable. Honestly, I've been worried that he's going to turn his infamous Mongolian Chop upon himself and go join all the great wrestlers in the sky. If you want to find out why he's so down, check out this edition of Sharpshootin'. And, you know, if you have the time, send him some kind words. He could use them.

4/13
What's the point of college without the basketball?
Why did Unsilent choose to go to Pitt, you ask? Well, wonder no longer. As the college admissions roulette table heats up around the country, Unsilent tells the story of his decision. It all came down to one devastating dunk.

The Best Sports Movies You've Never Seen
All right, all right, it's an obvious choice given our general No Masian feelings about Every Which Way But Loose, but for today's obscure sports movie, Large goes with Any Which Way You Can, the much-lesser-known sequel. "In short, much like "Loose," there's a beer-drinking sucker-punching ape, there's a ne-er-do-well biker gang called the Black Widdas, there's a lot of bar-brawlin and bare-knuckles brawlin and an overall atmosphere of brawlin, and there's at times such an utter lack of plot or direction or purpose that one can only revel in the rootin-tootin meaningless of it all."