No Mas Weekend TV Guide: 4/13 - 4/16
4/13
Champions League Highlights
ESPN2, 2:30 p.m.
An hour show recapping the week's Champions League action.
America's Cup 1851-2007
ESPN Classic, 7 p.m.
Man, a full hour on the history of the America's Cup on Classic. This poor network is getting a little desperate. But whatever, I'll take it. Yachting isn't exactly our bowl of gruel here on No Mas, but you have to give them bonus points for trying. Walter Cronkite is narrator, which tells me one thing and one thing only - Walter Cronkite is still alive.
WWE Smackdown
CW, 8 p.m.
Finlay & Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker & Batista. Only in wrestling would you see two guys who just finished beating the crap out of each other team up the following week.
Zab Judah v. Ruben Galvan
ESPN2, 9 p.m.
On Wednesday Night Fights (in which my Philly boy Willie Gibbs got his walking papers from the fight game with an ass-whupping from Hallelujah Joval) they showed a tease for this fight in which Zab Judah, with his godawful grill, was comparing himself to Sugar Ray Leonard, Marvin Hagler, Ali... the shit was unbelievable. I get the feeling that he's not quite recovered from the beating that Baldomir gave him. But anyway, it's not often you get to see a fighter of his caliber on Friday Night Fights, even if is against a tomato can like Galvan. Cotto will be in the studio with Brian Kenny during the fight.
International Fight League
Fox Sports Net, 11 p.m.
Two of the league's undefeated teams, the New York Pitbulls and the Portland Wolfpack, go head-to-head.
4/15
All-Star Golf
The Golf Channel, 4:30 a.m.
Look I don't know what this is, but if you're up at 4:30 in the morning, you might as well watch it, because it features Gary Player against Sam Snead in a match play exhibition. Freakin Slammin Sammy Snead already. No Mas golf.
Gene Fullmer v. Sugar Ray Robinson, 1961
ESPN Classic, 7 a.m.
Oh man this is an insane fight - do NOT miss this if you've never seen it before. It's a straight-up bloodbath. This is the fourth and final fight between these two legends, and Fullmer must be the only guy in history who got the better of Sugar Ray, going 2-1-1 against him lifetime. Just three months prior to this they'd fought a draw, which was also a war. Fullmer, yo - he was like Carmen Basilio with skills. What a tough bastard.
Ringside
ESPN Classic, 8 p.m.
Ringside turns to the one and only Brockton Blockbuster, Rocky Marciano. Let me see, what Marciano fights have I seen on Classic - Archie Moore, Joe Louis, of course... the first Walcott fight. I've never seen that second Ezzard Charles fight on there, but they must have that. I'm not really sure what else they could bust out that would excite me. And what guests will they have? I'm not sure about this one. (They run the Archie Moore fight in its entirety at 10).
BodogFight: Clash of the Nations
PPV, 9 p.m.
BodogFight is a fairly new MMA promotion owned by billionaire gambling mogul, Calvin Ayre. Most fans have never heard of it but that changed when they signed arguably the top heavyweight fighter in the world, Fedor Emelianenko, to fight the always dangerous Matt Lindland on this card. Consider our interests piqued.
British Open Highlights, 1984 & 1988
Golf Channel, 10 p.m.
Recaps of Seve's two Claret Jug years in the 80's - in the first he fended off Tom Watson and Bernie Langer, and in the second he bested Nick Price.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Comedy Central, 1 a.m.
All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.
4/16
Budo: The Art of Killing
FlixE, 5 p.m.
A doc about this ancient Japanese martial arts discipline. I don't know what the hell FlixE is, but they have some pretty cool shit.
Jackie Robinson SportsCentury
ESPN Classic, 6 p.m
There's a slew of Jackie-oriented programming on Sunday, the 60th anniversary of his breaking baseball's color barrier. I recommend sticking to the SC, which is excellent.
The Color of Money
ESPN Classic, 9:30 p.m.
You gotta have two things to win. You gotta have brains and you gotta have balls. Now, you got too much of one and not enough of the other.
TNA Lockdown
PPV, 8 p.m.
Every match on the card will take place inside a steel cage! The highlight being the ELECTRIFIED cage match between the NWA Tag Team Champions, LAX, against Team 3D. Someone's probably getting hurt tonight.
Moby Dick
TCM, 8 p.m.
If whaling is a sport (and I'm pretty sure that it is, or at least it used to be, before they got all uptight about it) then this is like, the best sports movie of all time. It's definitely the best whaling movie of all time. It's based on a book which I'm told is also good.
De la Hoya/Mayweather 24/7
HBO, 10:30 p.m.
Are you ready for the hype machine? Oh baby. Word on the street is that these two guys hate each other now. What a surprise that is. I wonder how many scenes they'll have in this of them wiping their asses with diamond toilet paper.
Roberto Duran v. Ken Buchanan, 1972
ESPN Classic, 1 a.m.
What a monster Duran was as a lightweight. This is a classic fight, the night that Duran won his first world title at the Garden. Very strange fight, very strange ending.
Floyd Patterson v. Hurricane Jackson, 1957
ESPN Classic, 2 a.m.
The rematch, not the brain-blasting original, which was one of the great fights of Floyd's career. I wrote about this bout on its anniversary last July.
Champions League Highlights
ESPN2, 2:30 p.m.
An hour show recapping the week's Champions League action.
America's Cup 1851-2007
ESPN Classic, 7 p.m.
Man, a full hour on the history of the America's Cup on Classic. This poor network is getting a little desperate. But whatever, I'll take it. Yachting isn't exactly our bowl of gruel here on No Mas, but you have to give them bonus points for trying. Walter Cronkite is narrator, which tells me one thing and one thing only - Walter Cronkite is still alive.
WWE Smackdown
CW, 8 p.m.
Finlay & Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker & Batista. Only in wrestling would you see two guys who just finished beating the crap out of each other team up the following week.
Zab Judah v. Ruben Galvan ESPN2, 9 p.m.
On Wednesday Night Fights (in which my Philly boy Willie Gibbs got his walking papers from the fight game with an ass-whupping from Hallelujah Joval) they showed a tease for this fight in which Zab Judah, with his godawful grill, was comparing himself to Sugar Ray Leonard, Marvin Hagler, Ali... the shit was unbelievable. I get the feeling that he's not quite recovered from the beating that Baldomir gave him. But anyway, it's not often you get to see a fighter of his caliber on Friday Night Fights, even if is against a tomato can like Galvan. Cotto will be in the studio with Brian Kenny during the fight.
International Fight League
Fox Sports Net, 11 p.m.
Two of the league's undefeated teams, the New York Pitbulls and the Portland Wolfpack, go head-to-head.
4/15
All-Star Golf
The Golf Channel, 4:30 a.m.
Look I don't know what this is, but if you're up at 4:30 in the morning, you might as well watch it, because it features Gary Player against Sam Snead in a match play exhibition. Freakin Slammin Sammy Snead already. No Mas golf.
Gene Fullmer v. Sugar Ray Robinson, 1961
ESPN Classic, 7 a.m.
Oh man this is an insane fight - do NOT miss this if you've never seen it before. It's a straight-up bloodbath. This is the fourth and final fight between these two legends, and Fullmer must be the only guy in history who got the better of Sugar Ray, going 2-1-1 against him lifetime. Just three months prior to this they'd fought a draw, which was also a war. Fullmer, yo - he was like Carmen Basilio with skills. What a tough bastard.
Ringside ESPN Classic, 8 p.m.
Ringside turns to the one and only Brockton Blockbuster, Rocky Marciano. Let me see, what Marciano fights have I seen on Classic - Archie Moore, Joe Louis, of course... the first Walcott fight. I've never seen that second Ezzard Charles fight on there, but they must have that. I'm not really sure what else they could bust out that would excite me. And what guests will they have? I'm not sure about this one. (They run the Archie Moore fight in its entirety at 10).
BodogFight: Clash of the Nations
PPV, 9 p.m.
BodogFight is a fairly new MMA promotion owned by billionaire gambling mogul, Calvin Ayre. Most fans have never heard of it but that changed when they signed arguably the top heavyweight fighter in the world, Fedor Emelianenko, to fight the always dangerous Matt Lindland on this card. Consider our interests piqued.
British Open Highlights, 1984 & 1988
Golf Channel, 10 p.m.
Recaps of Seve's two Claret Jug years in the 80's - in the first he fended off Tom Watson and Bernie Langer, and in the second he bested Nick Price.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High Comedy Central, 1 a.m.
All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.
4/16
Budo: The Art of Killing
FlixE, 5 p.m.
A doc about this ancient Japanese martial arts discipline. I don't know what the hell FlixE is, but they have some pretty cool shit.
Jackie Robinson SportsCentury
ESPN Classic, 6 p.m
There's a slew of Jackie-oriented programming on Sunday, the 60th anniversary of his breaking baseball's color barrier. I recommend sticking to the SC, which is excellent.
The Color of Money
ESPN Classic, 9:30 p.m.
You gotta have two things to win. You gotta have brains and you gotta have balls. Now, you got too much of one and not enough of the other.
TNA Lockdown
PPV, 8 p.m.
Every match on the card will take place inside a steel cage! The highlight being the ELECTRIFIED cage match between the NWA Tag Team Champions, LAX, against Team 3D. Someone's probably getting hurt tonight.
Moby Dick
TCM, 8 p.m.
If whaling is a sport (and I'm pretty sure that it is, or at least it used to be, before they got all uptight about it) then this is like, the best sports movie of all time. It's definitely the best whaling movie of all time. It's based on a book which I'm told is also good.
De la Hoya/Mayweather 24/7 HBO, 10:30 p.m.
Are you ready for the hype machine? Oh baby. Word on the street is that these two guys hate each other now. What a surprise that is. I wonder how many scenes they'll have in this of them wiping their asses with diamond toilet paper.
Roberto Duran v. Ken Buchanan, 1972 ESPN Classic, 1 a.m.
What a monster Duran was as a lightweight. This is a classic fight, the night that Duran won his first world title at the Garden. Very strange fight, very strange ending.
Floyd Patterson v. Hurricane Jackson, 1957
ESPN Classic, 2 a.m.
The rematch, not the brain-blasting original, which was one of the great fights of Floyd's career. I wrote about this bout on its anniversary last July.
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