Larry Merchant is a wet-brained retarded drunk, and other thoughts

First, let me just begin by pointing out that I am a genius. Briggs in a knockout, Floyd in a unanimous decision shutout? Sound familiar? Yeah, yeah, I had Briggs sending out Liakhovich in the fifth, but look, it’s hard to knock out a man who doesn’t want to fight. He got him in the end. And I reiterate, I am a genius. Aight, back to Floyd. My thoughts on the evening: -Tiger Woods and M.J. in the crowd. Floyd is one of their elite brethren. -Pete Rose chatting with a chick who was definitely a stripper or a hooker. I wonder where Pete’s money was? I’m thinking he probably had a few large down on Baldomir, just given the Vegas odds (4 to 1) and, you know, Baldomir is a very Charlie Hustle kind of guy. -God I hate Larry Merchant and Jim Lampley. Yeah, Floyd is wearing a gladiator outfit. Yeah, it’s outrageous. So what? The guy’s into the show, into the spectacle. All they do later on is bitch about the fact that they’re bored, but when it comes to walking into the ring, any type of showmanship is bullshit in their eyes. They’re both hypocritical morons and I wish someone would fire them. -The size difference between the fighters was striking. Baldomir was two weight classes removed from Floyd, and it showed. Size, of course, wasn’t going to be an issue with someone as fast as Floyd, and in fact, it seemed like it really hurt Tata. He had all the telltale signs of someone who had cut too much weight. His punches lacked snap and he ran out of gas quick, which was very bad news – his only chance was to smother Floyd and he just didn’t have the juice. -He didn’t really have a chance, though, no matter what he did. That was clear about twenty seconds into the first round. He looked like a club fighter in there. Here’s what you should take from that fight last night. Arturo Gatti is completely fucking shot and should never fight again. Gatti made Baldomir look like Carlos Monzon. Floyd made him look like your uncle after his fourth martini. -Floyd stopped throwing the right around the seventh round. No word yet on what the injury is, whether he broke it or not. But at that point, all the drama was out of the fight. There was no way he would get the TKO without the right. Nevertheless, he fought the rest of the way one-handed and still humiliated the big Argentinian. -Still, this wasn’t enough for Lamps and Larry. With no other way to harp on Floyd, they started with the “this is a boring boxing exhibition, a truly great fighter would have knocked Baldomir out by now.” JESUS! I couldn’t believe that Manny Steward jumped on that bandwagon. Fighting a man 13 pounds heavier with one hand? Give the guy a break! How great does he have to be to get some credit from you shitheads? I really thought Floyd might punch Merchant in the ring interview, and I wish he had. Let me just say one more time – HBO PLEASE FIRE LARRY MERCHANT! He’s like the announcing equivalent of a fighter who’s WAY past his prime and still keeps getting in the ring and embarrassing himself. His brain is wet, he’s lost in the old days, his observations are illogical and frequently just stupid. He needs to be put out to pasture for the good of the sport. -In the post-fight press conference, Floyd told us one thing we all knew – “It was a cakewalk if want to know the truth” – and then dropped a bombshell. One more fight and he’s retiring. Of course, everyone thinks that one more fight will be Oscar, and NO ONE thinks he'll retire after that. Personally, I’d miss Floyd if he retired – he’s the best show in the sport as far as I’m concerned (you see, Larry, I LIKE great boxing) – but I’d respect him if he walked away after a fight with Oscar. Hard to believe he'll do it, but you never know.