K.O.W. - Right Turn Clyde

Despite the fact that there is an excellent lightweight unification fight this Saturday night between Juan "The Baby Bull" Diaz and Julio "The Kidd" Diaz, it's almost certain that all of the boxing world's attention this week will be focused on a heavyweight "title" fight taking place in Moscow at the same time. That is where the brain-damaged 44-year-old boxing legend Evander Holyfield will try to fulfill his own prophecy (and, apparently, God's will) and recapture a heavyweight belt, the coveted WBO edition, currently owned by Sultan Ibragimov.

Jaw-droppingly, this is a PPV fight. If you are one of the many many hundreds out there who plan to pay for this thing, I can only assume that you have an uncommon fascination with morbidity and squalor. For just a taste of what you may be in for, I give you Ibragimov's next-to-last fight below, a bout with local teamster Javier "The Monster" Mora. After this fight, I'm told that Ibragimov snuck out the back door to the parking lot, where Orville and Sandra Locke and his pet orangutan were waiting for him in his pick-up truck. After filling their cooler with beer and jerky, this fearsome foursome immediately drove to Georgia in search of more adventures, and it is rumored that once there Sultan arm-wrestled a polar bear.