This Week in No Mas

1/28
Dominance
Large looks back at the Aussie Open - the unspeakable greatness of Moby Fed, and the implacable will of The Serena. "I would say right now that the Federer/Sampras debate is about over. Never was Sampras at this level. If Fed retires tomorrow and does not eclipse Pete's 14 Slams, then Sampras must be said to have had the better career, but as for the "who's the better player" argument, Elvis has left the building, and his name is Roger Federer."

If you want to rope a dope, eventually you must come off the ropes
A recap of the Jorge Arce/Julio Ler fight on Boxing After dark, where Ler reinvented the concept of the rope-a-dope. "More often than not, he would take ten or twelve shots and then suddenly scoot off the ropes about ten paces away from Arce, adjust his trunks, and get a baffling look of macho accomplishment on his face that seemed to say, "you see, I did it again."

1/29
K.O.W. - The Banker Cashes Out
The No Mas Knockout of the Week takes you back to last February, when The Boxing Banker, Calvin Brock, laid a left hook on Zuri Lawrence that straight up comatosed his ass.

Super Bowl of the Day - The Worst... Super Bowl... EVER
San Francisco/San Diego. As far as we know, the Niners are still scoring touchdowns. "It's a little known fact that the game got so boring for the Niners that in the fourth quarter, no member of the team actually played in the game. They sent their wives and sons on to the field disguised in their uniforms. At this point in the game, Steve Young's son threw eight touchdown passes to Jerry Rice's wife."

1/30
One down, 87 to go
The 36th anniversary of UCLA's 74-61 win over UC-Santa Barbara, the first of 88 consecutive wins for the Bruins.

Just forget about Oscar/Floyd entirely
Tyson checks into the Hohan-ator's rehab clinic, a clear sign that they are finally going to fight once and for all. "We hear the Ho-inator has wanted a piece of Tyson for years, and vice versa. We hear she's the nastiest bitch on two heels and that even though she's in rehab she's still smoking a ton of crack, which would have to be in her favor."

Super Bowl of the Day - Riggins run left, Riggins run right
Super Bowl XVII. Diesel. KaleidoSUPERscope. Leslie Easterbrook. The A-Team. Good times.

1/31
January 31 - Birthday of Champions
Whoo boy lot of big birthdays on Wednesday, Johnny Rotten, Norman Mailer and Jackie Robinson among them.

2/1
Sharpshootin' with the Franchise
The debut of our new Thursday column featuring our wrestling/MMA expert, The Franchise. He dips into his special vault for some footage of CroCop kicking Wanderlei Silva into oblivion. In short, the smacketh is layeth downeth.