Just forget about Oscar/Floyd entirely...

Because this shit right here is some serious shit. Word is that Iron Mike Tyson has checked himself into the Wonderland Center, the same rehab facility where Lindsay I'm such an incredible Ho-Han is currently trying to get over whatever horrible thing is now wrong with her life. There is clearly only one reason for this coincidence - they plan to fight.

Here at No Mas, we are not in the business of making book, but we are nevertheless prepared to take action on this thing. To start we've got Ho-han paying 240 on the c-note. You may think those are great odds given the fact that she's facing the former heavyweight champion of the world and erstwhile Baddest Man on the Planet, not to mention that Tyson weighs about 260 while she weighs about 85 pounds wet, and make that 70 less the implants. But we've got a funny feeling about this one. We hear the Ho-inator has wanted a piece of Tyson for years, and vice versa. We hear she's the nastiest bitch on two heels and that even though she's in rehab she's still smoking a ton of crack, which would have to be in her favor. We also hear that after the bout (ten 3-minute rounds, bare-fisted, no hair-pulling or nipple twisting or crack smoking) they're going to get married, which is definitely the Joe D/Marilyn nightmare that all of us reality-television-watching Ipod-listening millennial mutants so richly deserve.