Short... but mean

Looking for some fresh leadership to steer their squad into the new century, France hired Napoleon Bonaparte as head coach and Commander-in-Chief of the Armies of the French Republic on this day in 1791.

Of course, Bonaparte, who was equal parts Bum Phillips, Buddy Ryan and Bill Walsh, proceeded to almost immediately catapult France into the top-tier of the European division. A first-ballot Hall-of-Fame commander, he pretty much conquered the shit out of all of Europe during his tenure leading the French, acquiring the elite “Emperor” status for himself along the way. Russia finally fucked up his team in 1812, mostly because of Bonaparte’s hubristic decision to play it as an away game, and the Russians brilliant strategy formulated by their Hall-of-Fame commander, Prince Barclay de Tolly. Barclay's plan pretty much boiled down to a straight-up “rope a very cold dope” and the shit worked like frostbite.

Napoleon got exiled to Elba in 1814, but he still had some fight left in him and made it back to Paris where he put together a ragtag squad of ex-All-Stars and ham-and-eggers. He hung on for a while, but eventually got his medicine from Wellington at Waterloo, definitely a top five all-time showdown, one that I wish they would show more often on Classic.

The Little General died in exile in 1821. His last words were “Tete d’Armee!” Head of Army. Motherfucker loved the game till the very last. Respect.