This Week in No Mas

4/1
Let's Do It Again
Large wakes up on Sunday morning to discover that he's a little more shocked than the prevailing sports media that the NCAA basketball final features the same schools as the BCS championship game. He sets about proving in the most unscientific method available that this is a first in the history of mankind.

4/2
K.O.W. - The Pride of Wales
To get us all ready for what admittedly might be a fairly boring outing this weekend for Joe Calzaghe against Peter Manfredo Jr. of Contender fame, we take you back to an early Calzaghe bout for our No Mas Knockout of the Week. "When it comes to knockout time, Cardiff's own delivers big, sends our Stinger hurtling into his corner like one of the ridiculous KO's in the montage at the beginning of Rocky III."

Goodness Gracious Sakes Alive
Large reviews the new UCLA Dynasty doc on HBO and finds it wanting. "We get a cursory treatment of the Wooden era and an even more cursory treatment of the upheaval of the 60's, with every now and then someone like Ray Manzarek appearing on the screen... or Penelope Spheeris bragging about how when she was at UCLA they smoked pot out in the open man and they like totally dared anyone to try and stop them."

Well That Certainly Sucked
The Final Four is starting to shape up like the Super Bowl - hyped out the ass and perennially disappointing. Unsilent has some ideas why. "Domes ruin basketball, it's just that simple. The site lines suck and that means lots of missed jump shots. The cavernous nature of the buildings screw up the TV broadcast and the atmosphere at the game."

Reborn
Large and Mama Large head out to the Phils' home opener, and much joy and hope of spring ensues, despite a predictable collapse by the Fightin's (followed by another, and another... don't get me started... I take back this whole post actually, spring can eat my ass.)

4/3
The King is Dead... Long Live the King
The 22nd-year anniversary of the day that Bobby Fischer officially lost his title as FIDE World Chess Champion. The international chess federation stripped him of the crown and awarded it to Anatoly Karpov because Fischer, crazy as a loon, or a fox, or a fox-loon, refused to defend his title against Karpov.

All Night Long Endless Love One Shining Moment
Unsilent pits this year's repeat-champion Gators' squad against the last NCAA repeat titlists, the '91-'92 Duke juggernaut. He concludes, in his inimitable way, that both teams have their merits.

4/4
A Tradition Unlike Any Other
Large runs down some of his all-time favorite Masters in preparation for another weekend of magnolias and dogwoods and trees miked for bird-chirping and some poor schmo on top of the leaderboard shooting an 81 on Saturday and in general the pomp and circumstance of Southern racism and pageantry at its finest.

Deep Tennis with Steve Tignor
Steve offers an explanation for the fashionable resurgence of one the game's most unpopular superstars ever - Ivan Lendl. "That brutality in his personality may explain why Lendl never got much love as a player, and why he’s so admired in retrospect. The guy is terrific in theory; he had a cool executioner’s look on court, and a rapier sense of humor. His famous scouting report on a young Andre Agassi was devastatingly concise: 'A forehand and a haircut.'"

The Heavyweights Are Heating Up
The Oleg Maskaev sweepstakes are over, and the winner is The Nigerian Nightmare, Sam Peter. Peter will fight Maskaev for his WBC belt, and then the unretiring Vitali Klitschko will fight the winner. Against his own better judgment, Large admits to being excited about this news.

4/5
April 5, 1915
No Mas takes you way back in fistic history on the anniversary of one of the most shocking upsets in boxing history (by my estimation, the sixth most shocking upset, but who's counting?) - Jess Willard over Jack Johnson. "Later there was much talk that Johnson had thrown the fight, talk that Johnson himself stoked, but in retrospect it seems a preposterous claim. As Willard himself put it, 'If he was going to throw the fight, I wish he'd done it sooner. It was 105 degrees out there.'"

I guess there's just a meanness... in this world
A eulogy for the passing of Darryl Stingley, and a comment on the infamous hit that paralyzed him and the controversy surrounding it. "Let's not patronize either ourselves or our athletes - we know what we're watching, they know what they're doing. They brave such imminent danger for glory, and each play from scrimmage is a Faustian bargain with the gods of violence."

4/6
Sharpshootin' with The Franchise
Chise, yo - man had a very busy week. Wrestlemania 23? The debut of TUF5? A UFC PPV in the offing with his Canadian homie Georges St. Pierre in the headliner? Sometimes I walk by Franchise in his office and he looks like his head is about to explode off his body. The kid is overstimulated I'm telling you.

Keeneland: Horse racing as it was meant to be
The debut of a new columnist with us here at No Mas, Frank Mitchell, horse racing aficionado and writer for the Daily Racing Form. Frank sings the praises of his local track, Keeneland, which began its 15-day spring meeting today. "As you stand watching races or inspecting the steeds being saddled for the next race, hard-eyed betters stand near boys and girls skipping school to come to the track. Millionaires mingle with grooms as horses and their people prepare for racing. And the Bluegrass uniform – navy blazer, blue button-down oxford shirt, and khaki slacks – is as common among racing fans as t-shirts and shorts."