This fucker could be your next heavyweight champion
Following in the footsteps of Jack Johnson, Dempsey, Tunney, Louis, Ali, Tyson, I bring you… Oleg Maskaev.
I mean, Jesus, would you look at that bag of potatoes. Guy looks like any number of bleary-eyed Soviet ex-pats unloading trucks in Bay Ridge this very minute. And I’m sure any one of those battleaxes could go 12 with their boy Oleg over there and have plenty left over for a vodka session.
I cannot believe this is a PPV fight. HBO is milking the ’99 knockout for dear life (Lamps – so proud that the Rock was in his lap – Lamps wants all these dudes in his lap), seemingly forgetting that fight was SEVEN FUCKING YEARS ago, and Maskaev wasn’t even relevant then. Just a year after he knocked the Rock out of the ring, he himself suffered a fourth-round KO to Kirk Freaking Johnson, and then in his very next fight, got knocked the fuck out in the second by Lance Freaking Whitaker. His most recent fight with anyone with any street cred whatsoever? 2002, Corey Sanders. Not surprisingly, Sanders stopped him, TKO in the 8th.
The Rock isn’t a much more exciting proposition, another slow, plodding duffer who has made a career off one memorable knockout. Has everyone in the world but me forgotten that he is less than three years removed from a unanimous decision loss to Fat John Ruiz? Not that you even need to go back that far. How about his slow dance with Even Fatter James Toney last March? He and Fat Albert clutched and clawed and rolled shoulders in a 12-round draw that may have been the most meaningless exhibition of combat in the history of man.
So I reiterate – why the FUCK is this a PPV fight? Anyone who buys this thing should be arrested.
I mean, Jesus, would you look at that bag of potatoes. Guy looks like any number of bleary-eyed Soviet ex-pats unloading trucks in Bay Ridge this very minute. And I’m sure any one of those battleaxes could go 12 with their boy Oleg over there and have plenty left over for a vodka session.
I cannot believe this is a PPV fight. HBO is milking the ’99 knockout for dear life (Lamps – so proud that the Rock was in his lap – Lamps wants all these dudes in his lap), seemingly forgetting that fight was SEVEN FUCKING YEARS ago, and Maskaev wasn’t even relevant then. Just a year after he knocked the Rock out of the ring, he himself suffered a fourth-round KO to Kirk Freaking Johnson, and then in his very next fight, got knocked the fuck out in the second by Lance Freaking Whitaker. His most recent fight with anyone with any street cred whatsoever? 2002, Corey Sanders. Not surprisingly, Sanders stopped him, TKO in the 8th.
The Rock isn’t a much more exciting proposition, another slow, plodding duffer who has made a career off one memorable knockout. Has everyone in the world but me forgotten that he is less than three years removed from a unanimous decision loss to Fat John Ruiz? Not that you even need to go back that far. How about his slow dance with Even Fatter James Toney last March? He and Fat Albert clutched and clawed and rolled shoulders in a 12-round draw that may have been the most meaningless exhibition of combat in the history of man.
So I reiterate – why the FUCK is this a PPV fight? Anyone who buys this thing should be arrested.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home