This fearsome foursome were all born today

I'll give you some clues as to who they are in the captions:

"I know... after I win the World Series MVP I'll sign with the Rangers, where my career will only get better and better... meanwhile these stupid Yankees will go straight in the shitter, because they'll never be able to find a closer as great as me..."









"I'm on my way to becoming a football icon, a legendary bad boy, and all I have to do is wear these gay headbands and hand the ball to Walter Payton. Here's me in the huddle... Walter run right, Walter run left... I'm a fucking genius!"










"Yo, I'm the guy who won two Heisman Trophies. You hear that? Two Heisman Trophies! When you hear my name, what do you think... that's right bitch... TWO HEISMAN TROPHIES! I'M THAT GUY YOU HEAR ME?!@!





"Points? Naw, mothafucka, I'm talking about bitches. I bagged one hundred BITCHES today. And look here, holms, don't hold me to this shit, cause I'm going out after the game, and I seen at least twenty ho's up in them bleachers look like they could use a good fucking..."