Puerto Weirdo

Shit got strange in P.R. last night people. Neither fight on the HBO card went quite as planned, although it was still an entertaining, if not slam-tastic, evening. Here's how it looked on the Large scorecard:

Edison Miranda over Allan Green, UD10
I tell you, Allan Green does not have a lot to be proud of this morning and I bet he knows it. After all his talk, he comported himself like a very scared man in the ring last night, when in fact he should have listened to himself and acted accordingly. My overall assessment of the bout was that Green could have won the thing if he'd fought confidently and without such palpable fear. As it was, he took a few hard shots from La Pantera early on and spent a large portion of the rest of the fight trying desperately not to get hit. As for Miranda, Jesus, talk about a panther in a boxing shop. He has no ring skills whatsoever - he throws his jab off the wrong foot, lunges awkwardly to close space, is constantly off-balance (causing him to get knocked down in the 8th). He is just pure strength and kinetic energy, but that was clearly enough to frighten the pants off of Green. For seven rounds it was a dull stalemate, as Green cowered, and Miranda, lacking the know-how to draw him out, stalked and lunged, stalked and lunged. The flash knockdown in the 8th gave Green some confidence, and he opened up a little, and soon after Miranda found the button. The last two rounds were very exciting rounds - can the bull kill the cowardly matador and appease the crowd's bloodlust? Ten more seconds in round ten and he would have done it, and in fact, he landed a titanic right at the final bell that might have turned the trick, as Green wobbled into the ropes and the ref grabbed him to keep him from falling.

As to the future of these two fighters, I'd say Green is doomed to a lifetime in the second rank, while Miranda, if he ever learns to box, will be a champion. Right now, any skilled fighter with courage enough to face his onslaught will pick him apart like the clumsy toro that he is.

(A side note, both of these dudes had straight-up illy-dilly ringwear - Green with his black velvet Ghost Dog Boxing shit, and Miranda with the duel-flag Pantera robe and the Romans 10:9 t-shirt - "That if you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.")

Miguel Cotto over Oktay Urkal, TKO11
This fight was much more interesting than the way I imagine it will get reported. Yes, Cotto was dominant, and yes his body attack was fearsome, but he also took a lot of shots from a very game fighter who happens to be 37 years old and who in my estimation never once was sincerely hurt in the bout. Urkal has never had any power himself, and if he had, he would have knocked Cotto out last night, because he landed a lot of hard, clean head shots and was even stringing together combinations at will. Of course, he also was head-butting a lot, which opened a cut above Cotto's left eye that clearly troubled him. But that's not enough to explain away what I saw last night - a much-ballyhooed fighter who tired early, and could not help but get hit frequently and cleanly by a man with average hand-speed at best. Maybe Cotto took this fight too easily - it certainly seemed that way - but watching it I had to wonder... if Urkal can shoeshine him like that, what's a fighter with real speed, like, oh, say, Zab Judah, going to do to him?

Some other observations:

• Before the fight, HBO showed a clip of Cotto playing golf with Puerto Rican legend Chi Chi Rodriguez. Cotto golfs lefty and has a nice-looking drive, but his short game is for shit. Meanwhile, it looks like Chi Chi's done some sparring. No surprise there.
  
• Larry Merchant, man, who has been hitting that guy all these years that he is so punch-drunk? Has Lampley been beating on his ass? Or does he have a case of sympathetic pugilistic dementia? Or is he just senile? Whatever it is, put him out of his misery, get him off the air for chrissake.
• Zab ringside with his lady. I saw the two of them at an HBO pre-party for the Klitschko/Brock fight last November. Zab's woman is like 8'7". I think she's one of them new-fangled combination bodyguard/old lady ladies.
  
• Lamps thinks it's still the WWF. Gonna have to sick the Franchise on his ass.
• There was a fight in the crowd during the 7th round of the Cotto/Urkal bout. Urkal actually turned and pointed to it with his glove in the middle of an exchange. I wonder what he was trying to indicate. "There, also, is a fight." During another exchange, when Cotto was landing some shots to his ribs, he turned and winked at Lennox. I'm telling you, I really don't think Urkal was too bothered in there.
• The Cotto fight ended strangely, as Urkal's corner waved the towel in the eleventh after the ref deducted a second point from their fighter for head-butting. It was a shame, because at that point Cotto was clearly exhausted, and Urkal had actually won a few rounds. As Lennox put it, in the voice of a disappointed twelve-year-old, "The ending was such an anti-climax for me." For me too, Champ. For me too.