Hard to Kill starring Rulon Gardner
Note: If you're thinking of trying to kill Rulon Gardner, forget about it. You will most certainly die before he will, because he is superior to death. To wit...
2000 - He wrestles King Kong.
The moment that brought this Wisconsin farm boy to the attention of the world, and maybe the most dangerous of his stunts - his defeat of Alexander Karelin, a.k.a. King Kong, The Experiment, The Siberian Bear, in the gold medal match of the super heavyweight division of Greco-Roman wrestling at the Sydney Olympics. Karelin was known for his mercilessness and superhuman strength, which allowed him to fling around 300-pound foes as if they were rag dolls. He was undefeated in international competition for 13 years before Gardner beat him in Sydney, an upset that belongs with the greats of all time.
2002 - He gets lost, costs him a toe, but it's cool because he never used that toe anyway.
In February of 2002, Gardner went snowmobiling with friends in the mountains surrounding Star Valley, Wyoming. After becoming separated from the group, Gardner tried desperately to work his way back to familiar terrain. Unfortunately, he twice plunged into the icy Salt River on his snowmobile. Too cold, and becoming disoriented, Gardner found a resting place and remained stranded all night. After 17 hours in temperatures that dropped to around -10 degrees, he was rescued at 9 a.m. the following morning. A saw had to be used to remove his boots. The result was severe frostbite on all of his toes, one of which had to be amputated.
2004 - Stay out of the lane when Rulon's driving.
In a pickup basketball game, RG goes hard to the cup and lands on his hand. The ensuing dislocated wrist keeps him out of the national championships and jeopardizes his shot at defending his title in Athens.
2004 - Motorcycle accident, flips over the handlebars, whatever.
Just another day in the life of Farm Brother Number One. A quick trip to the E.R., lot of blood, nothing broken, yeah cheers. Gardner flipped over the handlebars when his Harley Davidson collided with a moving car in Colorado Springs, Colo. Rulon said his training as a wrestler helped him land safely and avoid serious injury. It might also have had something to do with the fact that he is bad as fuck.
2007 - Freaking Plane Crash, or Just Rulon Being Rulon, or Dude What the Fuck?
Rulon, his brother, and a pilot went down in a crash near Good Hope Bay on Saturday, and weren't rescued until earlier today. Evidently the three men swam for more than an hour in 44-degree water before reaching shore and then spent the night without shelter, but of course, none suffered life-threatening injuries. You think something like this is going to rattle Rulon's cage? Come on. Rulon laughs at Death like he's watching Chris Rock. For breakfast Rulon washes down his Death Flakes with a steaming hot cup of Death. When Death sees Rulon Gardner, it fears for its life. Sometimes Rulon Gardner thinks about how he will die, but then he just laughs, because he knows that actually he will never die.
2000 - He wrestles King Kong.The moment that brought this Wisconsin farm boy to the attention of the world, and maybe the most dangerous of his stunts - his defeat of Alexander Karelin, a.k.a. King Kong, The Experiment, The Siberian Bear, in the gold medal match of the super heavyweight division of Greco-Roman wrestling at the Sydney Olympics. Karelin was known for his mercilessness and superhuman strength, which allowed him to fling around 300-pound foes as if they were rag dolls. He was undefeated in international competition for 13 years before Gardner beat him in Sydney, an upset that belongs with the greats of all time.
2002 - He gets lost, costs him a toe, but it's cool because he never used that toe anyway.In February of 2002, Gardner went snowmobiling with friends in the mountains surrounding Star Valley, Wyoming. After becoming separated from the group, Gardner tried desperately to work his way back to familiar terrain. Unfortunately, he twice plunged into the icy Salt River on his snowmobile. Too cold, and becoming disoriented, Gardner found a resting place and remained stranded all night. After 17 hours in temperatures that dropped to around -10 degrees, he was rescued at 9 a.m. the following morning. A saw had to be used to remove his boots. The result was severe frostbite on all of his toes, one of which had to be amputated.
2004 - Stay out of the lane when Rulon's driving.
In a pickup basketball game, RG goes hard to the cup and lands on his hand. The ensuing dislocated wrist keeps him out of the national championships and jeopardizes his shot at defending his title in Athens.
2004 - Motorcycle accident, flips over the handlebars, whatever.Just another day in the life of Farm Brother Number One. A quick trip to the E.R., lot of blood, nothing broken, yeah cheers. Gardner flipped over the handlebars when his Harley Davidson collided with a moving car in Colorado Springs, Colo. Rulon said his training as a wrestler helped him land safely and avoid serious injury. It might also have had something to do with the fact that he is bad as fuck.
2007 - Freaking Plane Crash, or Just Rulon Being Rulon, or Dude What the Fuck?Rulon, his brother, and a pilot went down in a crash near Good Hope Bay on Saturday, and weren't rescued until earlier today. Evidently the three men swam for more than an hour in 44-degree water before reaching shore and then spent the night without shelter, but of course, none suffered life-threatening injuries. You think something like this is going to rattle Rulon's cage? Come on. Rulon laughs at Death like he's watching Chris Rock. For breakfast Rulon washes down his Death Flakes with a steaming hot cup of Death. When Death sees Rulon Gardner, it fears for its life. Sometimes Rulon Gardner thinks about how he will die, but then he just laughs, because he knows that actually he will never die.
8 Comments:
A antes de que tiro del maquillaje y después de tiro del maquillaje. Y déjeme le dicen, un qué maquillaje de la diferencia hace. Es casi como algunos de estos Web site que se sientan que tienen que poner encendido una demostración con todos sus gráficos de lujo y animaciones de destello
what he said.
and that's how they breed 'em where i'm from.
Babel Fish translation of anonymous's comments:
To before shot of the maquillaje and after shot of the maquillaje. And déjeme says to him, what maquillaje of the difference does. It is almost like some of these Web site that feel that a demonstration with all their graphs of luxury and animations of sparkle must put ignition.
Sí, anónimo, nos entendemos muy bien.
If that guy says maquillaje to me one more time, we're fighting.
Alexander Karelin
i always was waiting for him to go wcw, wwf,mma, something.
that guy has presence.
Large,
Kudos - this was one of the funniest you've written:
"Rulon laughs at Death like he's watching Chris Rock. For breakfast Rulon washes down his Death Flakes with a steaming hot cup of Death. When Death sees Rulon Gardner, it fears for its life. Sometimes Rulon Gardner thinks about how he will die, but then he just laughs, because he knows that actually he will never die."
That's good shit. Did not know Rulon had cheated death so many times.
The funny thing is the currently-ESPN-front-paged story about this refers to him as "jinxed".
Okay, maybe it's bad luck that gets him into these situations, can you really call him jinxed if all he's lost is a toe?
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