Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

You know when you're after some really hot chick for a long time and then you finally get her and you're strutting around all "I am a mack yo a straight-up PLAYA f'real." And then everywhere you go it's like you're carrying around a baseball card of your girlfriend on your arm with All-Star emblazoned across the top. That's what it feels like right there. It's like you have a living All-Star card for a girlfriend.

But then somewhere along the line you realize that for all her obvious All-Star qualities, she's just not doing it for you anymore. It takes a long time for that to sink in. It's hard to admit it to yourself. You meet some not-so-hot paralegal at the bar one night and she presses your buttons and you realize, hey, maybe I don't need an All-Star at girlfriend... maybe what this team needs is a ham-and-egger at the girlfriend position, someone to get in there and muck it up a little, show a little emotion.

It's hard, though, because you got yourself an ALL-STAR yo! You gonna just put her back on the market like that? Some macklicious team will snatch that shit up in a second and then how will you feel?

This is what kind of winter we've been having over here in Philly. First A.I., the flashy chick that's been wrong for us for years but we just kept dating her because damn she is fine... finally, we broke that shit off, and it was the right thing to do, but seeing the man in that fly Nuggets jersey, and just the idea that he and Carmelo might go get a ring... it's tough yo, very very tough.

And now, NOW, we're having an affair behind one of our superstar's back and it feels so right but I'm telling you the guilt is killing us. Our All-World quarterback is on the schneid and suddenly we are goo-goo-eyed, seeing-stars, is that a sausage in your pants or are you just glad to see me in LOVE with a full-on ham-and-egger named Jeff Garcia.

You can hear the shame in people's voices on WIP. They don't want to say it, they're not ready to make the full break yet, but it's in the air: Donovan you are crazy fine, no one is finer... you got all the tools, you got that megawatt smile, you are the next generation QB I know, but yo... yo we think you might be all wrong for us Donovan... we're seeing someone else... we think we might be in love... aw don't cry now... damn DMac this is hard on us too!