Mr. October
On this day exactly 940 years ago, Mr. October himself, William the Conqueror, had a hell of a day for himself, leading the Normans to a ridiculous rout of the Anglo-Saxons in the heavily hyped Battle of Hastings. It was a victory that cemented W. Conk’s legend as one of the all-time greatest conquerors ever to conquer shit.
The illegitimate son of Robert the Magnificent, William was born into the conquering game. He was knighted by the King of France at the age of 15, and by the time he was 19 he was known to be seriously fucked up. But up until Hastings, he was something of a disappointment on the conquering front. Other than marrying his younger cousin, in the early part of his career he really didn’t conquer very much.
That all changed in the 1066 season. He landed in England on September 26 and conquered the shit out of Sussex. “I now take hold of the land of England!” he said, much like his conquering hero Julius Caesar when HE conquered the shit out of Sussex. At that point, Hastings was pretty much a fait accompli. He was like Tyson going into the Berbick fight.
Especially when you consider that the Anglo-Saxons were decimated by injuries. King Harold II and the Saxons had just come off a tough win over the Vikings. They were in no condition to face a side like the Normans, particularly with William at the top of his game.
The battle was tight early, with the Saxons bluffing for a while with an “offense is the best defense” approach that kept the Normans off-balance. By the end of the day, though, the ASaxon d-line was exhausted and the Normans were moving forward at will. Their archers had an unbelievable day. King Harold got the old flaming arrow up the ass sometime around nightfall and the Saxons were done.
In the post-battle press conference, William was proud, but humble. “Oddsmakers had us 7 to 1 favorites,” he said, “and I thought that was giving them too much credit. But look, I never take the Anglo-Saxons lightly. They fought their hearts out today and I give them mad respect for that.”
There was a lot of controversy after the battle regarding the fact that someone on the Normans cut off King Harold’s dick. A lot of bad feelings ensued because of that. To give you an idea of just how hard the Anglo-Sizzos took the loss, to this day they have not lost another home game.
The illegitimate son of Robert the Magnificent, William was born into the conquering game. He was knighted by the King of France at the age of 15, and by the time he was 19 he was known to be seriously fucked up. But up until Hastings, he was something of a disappointment on the conquering front. Other than marrying his younger cousin, in the early part of his career he really didn’t conquer very much.
That all changed in the 1066 season. He landed in England on September 26 and conquered the shit out of Sussex. “I now take hold of the land of England!” he said, much like his conquering hero Julius Caesar when HE conquered the shit out of Sussex. At that point, Hastings was pretty much a fait accompli. He was like Tyson going into the Berbick fight.
Especially when you consider that the Anglo-Saxons were decimated by injuries. King Harold II and the Saxons had just come off a tough win over the Vikings. They were in no condition to face a side like the Normans, particularly with William at the top of his game.
The battle was tight early, with the Saxons bluffing for a while with an “offense is the best defense” approach that kept the Normans off-balance. By the end of the day, though, the ASaxon d-line was exhausted and the Normans were moving forward at will. Their archers had an unbelievable day. King Harold got the old flaming arrow up the ass sometime around nightfall and the Saxons were done.In the post-battle press conference, William was proud, but humble. “Oddsmakers had us 7 to 1 favorites,” he said, “and I thought that was giving them too much credit. But look, I never take the Anglo-Saxons lightly. They fought their hearts out today and I give them mad respect for that.”
There was a lot of controversy after the battle regarding the fact that someone on the Normans cut off King Harold’s dick. A lot of bad feelings ensued because of that. To give you an idea of just how hard the Anglo-Sizzos took the loss, to this day they have not lost another home game.
4 Comments:
what? no love for the welshman being head-butted around on saturday?
Din't see it mate... was out of town? Heard it was a bloodbath. Calzaghe's tough as nails. What are your thoughts?
Calzaghe slightly missed his opportunity - he was really on the brink of something BIG after slaughtering Lacy back in March (which I watched in a proper geezer East End strip bar at 3 in the morning). On Saturday he just wasn't fit enough, was too full of himself (showboating and going for glory) - whereas Bika was STRONG and dirty (butting him over and over).
Watched a replay of the fight last night Smokin J. I'm a Calzaghe fan, but yeah, you had to give it to Mora for dirtying it up a bit once Calzaghe started to showboat. Christ, Joe, you're fighting in your living room, give the guy a break. I still thought Calzaghe looked pretty good though - Mora was fighting an ugly fucking fight and he still won a convincing victory. Reminded me a little of Winky/Sam Soliman - a vastly superior technician fighting a madman. I mean, that was almost wrestling in there.
Personally, I think Bernard would destroy Calzaghe at any weight, not that I can imagine he would make the fight in the first place. Is there really that much money for a Bernard/Calzaghe fight? Maybe in England, but not here. Nobody here gives a shit about Calzaghe, whether he beat up on Lacy or not.
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