The Thrill of Victory The ecstasy of Defeat

|NYC| Sport and Culture since 2004 |NYC|

May 27th, 2009

Karate Is Cool

posted by Ariel Helwani


In the immortal words of Stephen A. Smith, “Lyoto Machida is the truth.”

I honestly can’t imagine any scenario in which the UFC’s new light heavyweight champion drops the title in the next, oh, 18-24 months. Suddenly, I have a hell of lot more respect for the sport of mixed martial arts and its fighters to think that one man can’t lose on any given night, but that’s just my gut feeling after seeing him destroy Rashad Evans on Saturday night.

Everything from his karate stance to his accuracy to his ability to avoid getting hit makes him one of the most lethal men on the planet right now. In fact, I would currently rank him as high as 4th in my petty pound-for-pound MMA rankings behind Fedor Emelianenko, Georges St-Pierre and Anderson Silva. Speaking of Fedor and Silva, those are the only two fighters I can actually envision beating Machida at the moment. Only problem is that Silva and Machida are friends and have vowed to never fight each other, and Fedor doesn’t have a contract with the UFC. Other than those options, one can argue that Mauricio Rua has a shot because he is a solid striker with great ground skills, and lord knows no one has really tried to test Machida’s ground game as of late. Still, I would pick Machida in a fight against ‘Shogun.” Quinton Jackson? Machida will pick him apart.

Read the rest of this entry »

May 23rd, 2009

Some Random FNF Notes

posted by Large

  • Cheryl Tiegs? Dah… what was my primary masturbation fantasy from about 1982 to 1986 doing at a fricking Richard Gutierrez fight? Or was she there to see the Cubans? Or… well, what the hell was she doing there exactly? Matt Damon, Zo, Jake LaMotta… I get it. It’s the Fountanbleu, Rat Pack, whatever. But the Queen of the Swimsuit Issue? And did you notice how Joe Tessitore slipped it in as if it were no big deal? “And there’s Cheryl Tiegs, out enjoying the fights tonight.” Like, yeah, because that sort of thing happens all the time at Friday Night Fights. “Oh, and look over there, it’s Bianca Jagger. And whaddya know, there’s Carol Alt french-kissing Kathy Ireland.”
  • The Cubans – I got a better feel for the less-heralded Erislandy Lara last night than I did for the great Guillermo Rigondeaux, primarily because that dude that Rigondeaux fought, Juan Noriega, may be the worst opponent I’ve ever seen served up in a televised fight. The guy was Golden Gloves amateur-class territory, and what’s more, he was visibly terrified in there, which made the whole thing agonizing to watch. I understand they have to get a guy like Rigondeaux a couple of serious tomato cans before he fights even a borderline skilled fighter, but still, something about last night’s debacle made me feel like I was watching an afterschool special. The bell rang, they waded out to the center of the ring, and I took one look at Noriega and thought, “stop the fight!” The poor kid. He did not belong anywhere near that ring. I felt for him.

Read the rest of this entry »

May 22nd, 2009

Ten Reasons to Watch UFC 98

posted by Ariel Helwani

Look, I know some of you No Masians aren’t down with this whole MMA thing. Trust me, I get it. But also trust me when I say that the UFC is on some kind of roll right now, and the next three months may be the greatest stretch in its almost 16-year history with fights like Brock Lesnar vs. Frank Mir 2, Georges St-Pierre vs. Thiago Alves, Forrest Griffin vs. Anderson Silva, BJ Penn vs. Kenny Florian and Randy Couture vs. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira on the horizon. If you were ever thinking about testing this sport out, now is the time.

The organization’s blockbuster summer kicks off this Saturday in Las Vegas at UFC 98, as Rashad Evans defends his light heavyweight title against Lyoto Machida, and Matt Serra finally gets his crack at his heated rival, Matt Hughes.

This event really has something for everyone, so here are 10 simple reasons why UFC 98 will live up to the hype.

10. “Diamond” Dave Kaplan faces George Roop. The last time Kaplan fought in the UFC, he looked like this:

Read the rest of this entry »

May 20th, 2009

Note to Self: Don’t Make Fun of Bobby Lashley

posted by Ariel Helwani

If you’re not one of the two million people who has seen Bobby Lashley’s destruction of Mike Cook from this past Saturday’s Maximum Fighting Championship event on HDNet, well then I would like to know just who YOU are.

Anyway, here’s the clip. Check it out, and meet me back here in, say, 24 seconds.

Not bad for an ex-WWE wrestler, eh?

Speaking of wrestling, that clip doesn’t show Cook acting like a complete jackass prior to the fight while wearing a Rey Mysterio wrestling mask and mimicking Hulk Hogan. I’ve interviewed Cook before, and he was very soft-spoken, almost shy. So I was surprised to see him to try to make fun of Lashley’s wrestling past instead of focusing on the task at hand. Not to mention the fact that he looked really ridiculous after Lashley submitted him via guillotine choke just 24 seconds into the fight. Lashley added insult to injury by saying this in his post-fight interview:

“I’m here for business. Everybody comes out there with this wrestling thing, and tries to make fun of this wrestling thing; I’m real. You know, I’m coming here to fight. If they don’t want to fight me, they can play around. If they play around, I’m going to knock them out, or choke them out, and that’s what I did today: Choked him out; made him pay. Now he can go put back on the mask and have fun with himself.”

Read the rest of this entry »

May 18th, 2009

Video: Andre Ward Does Oakland Proud

posted by Large

As a newly minted Bay Area resident, I was very excited to check out the Andre Ward/Edison Miranda fight this past Saturday in Oakland. Since I moved to Berkeley last year, I’ve gained a little familiarity with Oakland and its boxing scene, the centerpiece of which is the legendary Kings Boxing Gym, a gym that Ward, an Oakland native, is proud to call his fighting home.

The event was a huge success both for Andre Ward and also for the city of Oakland and its boxing culture. Over 8,000 fans came out to the Oracle Arena to see the fight, and I can tell you first-hand that it was a knowledgeable and passionate group. Walking the upper deck of the arena before I made my way down to press row, I saw many a righteous old-timer in Panama hat looking like he’d stepped out of some fight painting from the early 60’s. ‘Double the damn jab, son!” one yelled. ‘Or eat that left hook all night! Your choice.” These men did not start following this game yesterday.

For Ward, it was both a joyful homecoming and an important victory in the progression of his career. In a wholly deserved unanimous decision, he soundly defeated Miranda, ‘La Pantera,” the Colombian killer known for his relentless aggression and decapitating knockouts. It was an exciting, action-packed win on a big stage (a Showtime headliner) and likely will herald the next phase of Ward’s career, one where he challenges for a world title and fights for some big-time money.

No matter how high his star may travel, though, one imagines Ward always will be quick to bring it all back home. His connection to the city of Oakland and to his trainer since childhood, Virgil Hunter, is inspiring. And though it was on a small scale in comparison to the sports world at large, this night at the Oracle Arena was in many ways about as big as sports can be. I tried to convey a little of that sense in the video below (all shot with a Flip, so pardon the image quality… the first voice you hear is that of Hunter, one of the most thoughtful and articulate trainers in the sport. And one final note for all you Masians – check it when Ward gets all Mas-like and references Pryor/Arguello… man knows his shit.)

May 15th, 2009

Affliction vs. UFC

posted by Ariel Helwani


When Affliction first announced that they were going to try to compete with the UFC by promoting their own MMA shows, the face of their new organization, Tom Atencio, made sure to never pick a fight with Dana White. What a novel concept.

When the media tried to coax Atencio into talking smack about White, he always chose his words carefully and was very respectful. Clearly, trying to pick a fight with White had not been a successful tactic for other MMA promotions, and it seemed as though Atencio had made a conscious decision not to go down that same path.

A year later, I’m scratching my head as I wonder what in the name of Art Jimmerson has gotten into Atencio. All of a sudden he’s decided that not only would it be a good idea to talk a boatload of trash about White, but that it would be an even better idea to actually challenge the UFC president to an MMA match. Seriously.

‘I’d love to fight Dana,” said Atencio to Yahoo! Sports’ Kevin Iole (check the full piece here). I’m not a former world champion with a huge record like Tito (Ortiz). I’m a guy who is on par with him. I like to fight and he says he does, so I’d love to fight him.”

Read the rest of this entry »

May 12th, 2009

Flanny Pacweather

posted by Large


I noticed in the comments to my previous post that the question at hand had turned to, dah, the question at hand. I’m amped for Cotto/Clottey, and for Floyd/Marquez as well, and we’ll get to those fights in due time.

But let’s face the facts, Masians – our little fistic cult suddenly has been occupied by a force much bigger than ourselves, and it goes by the name of… Flanny Pacweather. Moyd Maycquiao. Etc.

So I redirect you to a piece I wrote over at The Sporting Blog about this phenomenon, titled “Pacquiao vs. Mayweather: Will it Happen?” Most of the content probably won’t be much of a revelation to the hardcore Masian audience, but I offer it nevertheless just to get the discussion rolling. Because, look, I know it’s all we really want to talk about.

Pacquiao vs. Mayweather: Will It Happen?
“… Arum said immediately after the Hatton fight that anyone looking to fight Pacquiao right now (and by ‘anyone,” I presume he means Floyd Anyone Mayweather Jr.) shouldn’t expect to get more than ‘30 or 35% of the split. If you happen to be unfamiliar with the self-esteem of Mr. Mayweather Jr. or his general attitude concerning matters of finance, allow me to understate the case considerably and inform you that these terms are not likely to sit well with him.”

May 10th, 2009

Illusion vs. Reality

posted by Large


Last night was quite the tale of two fighters. You had the much-anticipated replay of Pacquiao/Hatton, where one man, heralded by all to be the pound-for-pound king of the sport, staged an onslaught of fury and precision that marked his ascension into the stratosphere of superstardom. Then you had the decidedly unanticipated rematch of Dawson/Tarver, where another man, heralded by many to be among the sport’s pound-for-pound best, slogged his way to a more-difficult-than-it-looked unanimous decision in a fight that few wanted to see in the first place.

Of the two performances, I was more impressed with Dawson’s. Which is not to say that I’m more impressed with Dawson, period. No no no. But in these two arbitrarily linked fights, I thought he faced up to a much stiffer challenge, one that admittedly will not earn him much praise.

Part I. Flogging a Dead Hatton

Watching Pacquiao/Hatton again, I was even more overwhelmed with what were my initial observations of the affair when I saw it live. Hatton was amateurish from the get-go, an utter joke. With his hands at his chest, he bulled forward recklessly, chin first, with no lateral motion and no head movement whatsoever, seemingly under the impression that if he repeatedly threw himself at his man with frenetic abandon while waving his arms, it would accomplish… something.

I have to tell you, and I say this with absolutely no sense of pride, this approach reminded me of myself in my clumsy forays into the gym. As such, I am all too aware of the fact that it is an approach one takes when one is not particularly skilled at the sport of boxing, and when used against people who are skilled at the sport of boxing, it generally leads to quite a lot of heartache, not to mention headache.

Read the rest of this entry »

May 8th, 2009

What a Difference a Week Makes

posted by Large


Usually I make you wait for this, but in that we all know that Dawson is going to win this thing, I’m going to throw down the prognog right here at the top:

PROGNOSTIFICATION: Dawson – TKO9 – Tarver

I admit that I’m speaking a little with my heart on this one, but I’m also feeling it enough to put a c-note on the under, which is set at 11 1/2 rounds.

Like most boxing fans, I’m utterly bored at the prospect of a Dawson/Tarver rematch. “Ishtar II” is what Steve Kim termed it over at MaxBoxing, a concise way of summing up the situation. Nobody cared about the first fight, and less than nobody showed up to watch it. As an event, it was devoid of drama, with Tarver looking old and slow and uninspired and Dawson looking young and fast and, well, uninspired. Unfortunately for everyone involved (including Tarver himself, oddly), Tony had a rematch clause written into the original contract with Dawson, and for some bizarre reason, he elected to exercise it. And so here we are – Ishtar II is upon us, the sequel to the movie that no one saw or liked in the first place.

As you may recall, I killed Dawson here at the Mas after the first Tarver fight for taking his foot off the gas and hot-dogging his way through the late rounds instead of going gangbusters for the stoppage. I thought that Tarver, who’s never been stopped, was ripe to be had that night, and Dawson simply didn’t commit himself to the task. To me, that was inexcusable for a guy in Dawson’s category, an extremely talented fighter in search of a following and the big-payday stratosphere. A guy like that needs to make a statement every time he steps in the ring, and when he’s got Antonio Tarver, the biggest name he’s ever faced by far, looking like he’s ready to go, well, goddamn. Show him the door already.

Read the rest of this entry »

May 7th, 2009

Franchise at FanHouse

posted by Ariel Helwani

So, as Large mentioned when I rejoined the No Mas family last month, I currently work for two other great websites: VERSUS.com and AOL FanHouse. I feel pretty blessed to have this opportunity … blah, blah, blah. I know no one wants to hear about my career or me. I just wanted to pass along some No Mas-friendly material I’ve cooked up as of late.

Chad Dawson Has Message For Rivals
Yes, that’s right, I’m no one-trick MMA pony; I can talk boxing with the best of them. Yesterday, I conducted an interview with Chad Dawson and he gave me some great stuff. For example:

On whether he thinks a fight against Bernard Hopkins will ever happen:
“I don’t know, because like you said, he’s all about the money. He made the statement saying, ‘Nobody knows who Chad Dawson is.’ Well, if nobody knows who Chad Dawson is, why is everybody pushing the fight? Why is HBO pushing the fight? If nobody knows who I am then why are you ducking me? I think he doesn’t want to get in the ring and get embarrassed.”

“Boxing is about the best fighting the best. Right now, me and Bernard Hopkins are the best light heavyweights in the world, so why not fight to see who is the best? I’ll tell you right now that I’m the best and I know I am the best; he’ll tell you that he thinks he’s the best. So, why not fight to see who’s the best? But that’s not happening right now. That’s why boxing is so messed up today, because the best don’t fight the best.”

Read the rest of this entry »