posted by Baggiesboy

(The Bag is back – our crack football correspondent, Baggiesboy, files his dispatch today from Basel, where I’m told there’s a bit of business going on – L)

As surely as Cristiano Ronaldo will play for Real Madrid, there was one certainty at the ever surprising 2008 European Championships: someone will win (and lose) on penalty kicks. First to step up to the white dot of terror at Euro 2008 was Croatia and Turkey. As usual, the ‘Kick of Death” was greeted with howls of protest: “it’s a lottery” was the cry. Nonsense, I say.

I fold my old school credentials to no W-Formation diehard (or ‘Soccer Made in Germany” viewer, if you prefer), but the penalty kick resolution is far from a lottery at this point (or Russian Roulette, if you prefer the more menacing cliché , in one of life’s delightful quirks, so far Russia has never participated in football’s version of rock, paper, scissors.) While I agree with the premise that penalty kicks should never decide a game (I understand replays are out of the question in the over-scheduled world we live in, but the drama of replayed games had a unique tension all of their own, and the best team DID advance in those situations) the fact of the matter is that penalties are here to stay. The drama is too compelling and has the added bonus of suiting the schedules of television executives in every corner of the globe. So any self-respecting player (coaches and fans as well) had better get ready to step up to the spot and take them. Therein lies the rub. How many teams live the Carnegie Hall mantra: practice, practice, practice?

It’s time to withdraw the ‘Get Out of Jail” free card for the quintet of doomed spot kickers. They have known this moment was on their horizon since 1976. And by the way, how wonderful was that first major tournament shootout? I’m more than happy to see an endless loop of Czechoslovakia giving West Germany ‘das boot” in the Euro ’76 Final ‘on penalties.” First, Uli Hoeness blasted over the bar to put West Germany on the edge, and then Sepp Maier was humiliated by Antonin Panenka’s delicate, yet sensational, title winning chip. Students of history should take two lessons from this inaugural baptism by penalty kick fire: Panenka’s famous floater was the result of perfecting the move on the training field. There was no gut check for this Czech. He knew what he was doing and calmly grasped glory. Second, Germany has not lost on penalties since: and that would be a combined five, yes, count ‘em, FIVE, penalty shootouts at the World Cup and European Championships that they have subsequently won. In a slap of the lederhosen to Mr. Carnegie, Germany skipped practice on the newly laid Basel field prior to the Portugal quarterfianl, as that would, among other things, cut into their penalty kick practice time.

It should also be noted that Germany excelled at ‘Golden Goals” as well. The sight of Oliver Bierhoff escorting Joachim Löw to an unexpected audience with Chancellor Angela Merkel in the Vienna stands last Monday night revived memories of his game-winning header that handed sudden death to the Czech Republic in the Euro 1996 Final. But like my beloved Three Lions, there is no ‘Golden Goal” in the Alps. I was a big fan of the sadly short-lived penalty-kick alternative. But my petitions for its return have gone the way of the Dutch celebration party in Basel: brilliant in composition, but as ever deep-sixed into the Rhine by greater forces in the universe.

And for the first time in a long time, those greater forces seem to be favoring Spain. The June 22 Jinx (three quarterfinal losses on penalty kicks on that date) was all set to strike Espana again on Sunday, but Ike Casillas didn’t let Gigi Buffon’s gentle pat on the cheek psyche him out and his saves knocked the World Cup champions out of Euro 2008. In its World Cup semifinal with Germany two years ago, Italy famously went on the offensive in extra time, and won. They knew their own notoriously bad record in penalties, and the German’s stellar one. In Vienna on Sunday, they played for penalties from the kickoff. And they got their just desserts for reverting to the dreary catennacio ways of old.

One of the main traits of this exhilarating Euro 2008 is that the team that plays to win has won. The Dutch started the trend against Italy. Spain has played with the same attacking flair, and Germany reverted to its 2006 World Cup hell-for-leather style in attacking Portugal from the start in the quarterfinals. And when Guus Hiddink said Russia was going to attack Sweden and then the Netherlands, well, the flying Dutchman wasn’t blowing smoke. His star player Andrei Arshavin doesn’t look old enough to shave, but he has transformed his team, and the tournament.

Here’s hoping that Euro 2008 comes down to one piece of magic from Arshavin, a dazzling finish from David Villa, or a power play from Michael Ballack. Penalty kicks is the last thing anybody wants (or so we all say.) But if the Kick of Death descends upon Vienna come Sunday night. Then be prepared. It takes more than a dollar and a dream to win the European crown.