This was one of those weekends where people who don’t pay any attention to boxing at all (in other words, most people) think nothing happened in the sport.

Of course, those of us who follow the fistic arts a little more closely know different. There were a whole handful of next-in-line type of fighters in action in the past few days looking to make major statements and announce that they’re ready for their closeup. Amazingly, almost all of them did exactly that.

Let’s begin with the big attraction of the weekend, perhaps the only bout that would have garnered a look from the casual fan – the Arthur Abraham/Edison Miranda rematch.

A Panther Fit for a King

First of all, let me say this – what the holy hizzdang hell happened to my prognosticational skills? I have no idea. In 2007, I was calling ROUNDS my friends. And now, now… man you think Chase Utley’s in a slump. Chase ain’t got nothing on the Larginator. I keep swinging, though. You got to give me that much. I step up to the plate and take my hacks and one of these days that seeing-eye single is going to get Stella her groove back.

In the meantime, I bet on Miranda, a little heavier than I’d care to admit. Good thing Mrs. Large very rarely reads this crap. Poor Pantera, sheesh. He goes in there talking about how he’s going to kick Abraham’s ass, and then immediately afterwards he’s going to jump out of the ring and kick Kelly Pavlik’s ass, and then after that he’s going to nail six bitches in the audience at once and impregnate them all simultaneously and then wrassle with a alligator and eat it whole. Right, Edison? Something like that?

Instead of doing all of that, however, he gets unceremoniously KTFO and then ends up getting kicked while he’s still laying there in his own knockout filth by Abraham’s little brother (and this definitely must have happened, because the Galaxxy Warrior saw that shit himself). I mean, what can you say? Compared to this, Rasta Malignaggi’s performance over in Manchester was a work of art.

The thing that surprised me was how easy it seemed for King Arthur. He straight-up rope-a-doped Miranda, covered up for a few rounds and took meaningless shots on his gloves and his elbows and waited for his opening. Which came quickly, because Abraham’s inactivity lulled Miranda into lazy overconfidence. Edison was loading up on those wide wrecking-ball shots of his and very little was coming back at him and after a while, well, he let what little guard he’s accustomed to keeping up… down.

Discipline is not the Pantera’s bag. He was a man about it though, offered no excuses, which I respected. Miranda has now lost twice (I’m leaving out the first Abraham fight as the bizarre anomaly that it was), and considering those losses, you can’t help but notice that King Arthur made it seem like a light spar compared to what Kelly Pavlik had to do to beat the guy.

Which of course leads us to what’s on everyone’s mind now – Abraham/Pavlik, a.k.a “Whitey’s Back.” Raul Marquez is now the surprise IBF middleweight mandatory for Abraham (our condolences to Giovanni Lorenzo and his manager, our man Kurt), but something tells me that Marquez is going to have to wait a while to get his ass beat by the King. With Calzaghe taking a pass for now on the Ghost, and with Mikkel Kessler still stuck in Nowheresville so far as the U.S. is concerned (and not, might I add, looking so crisp in his win over Dmitri Sartison on Saturday), where else does Pavlik turn right now other than Abraham? Which means that Arthur’s big win over Miranda was very big indeed, for the cause of his wallet and also for true fight fans everywhere. When it happens, Pavlik/Abraham should be the middleweight equivalent of Cotto/Margarito.

As for Miranda, he ain’t going nowhere. He can bang like the dickens, he can’t box for shit and he’s got a big mouth. He’s going to be the Ricardo Mayorga of the next ten years. He’ll win some, he’ll lose some, and we’ll all pay to watch either way.

Show Him the Money Belt
WHAT TIME IS IT? BERTO TIME!

My happiest memory of Saturday night’s Berto/Rodriguez fight was right after Berto landed that Pernellesque (only, like, harder) uppercut that floored Rodriguez and then while Rodriguez was down and clearly completely concussified, he nevertheless had enough wits about him to very visibly say, “whoo!” and smile, like he’d thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience, like it was a rollercoaster ride, like “oh shit that was some shit right there.”

You gotta love a man who after being for all intents and purposes knocked out is so fucking tough that through the initial waves of his knocked-outedness he still has the good graces to congratulate the knocker-outer.

But enough about Rodriguez (we know, we know, Mexicans are tough) – Berto looked dyno-mite. Still, perhaps, a tad too easy to hit, although on that score I have to add that I think Miki Rodriguez is a little better fighter than Berto was making him seem in there. And look – it doesn’t matter either way. Cause whether he’s ready or not, as Kellerman was repeating ad nauseum, the time for Berto to ski the bunny slopes is over. He’s got Floyd’s belt around his waist and there’s really nothing left for him to do but to head on over to those double-black diamond welterweights and take the plunge.

Paul Williams seems like the most likely opponent for him right now, but then again, everything 147 is on hold at the moment until we see who comes out of Cotto/Margo alive. I can definitely see the loser of that thing wanting to take Berto’s belt from him before he even has a chance to polish it. Actually, I see it this way – Margo wins and he takes a rematch with Williams and Cotto goes for Berto (Cotto/Berto… man think about that). Cotto wins and he fights Oscar (maybe), leaving Margo to decide between the Williams rematch and Berto.

It’s raining welterweights. Hallelujah.

The Wrath of Khan
I wonder how many more times I’ll use that headline over the next decade?

There’s a good chance you missed the fight of the weekend, and if you did, I eagerly advise you to find it somewhere, because Amir Khan/Michael Gomez was a corker and a half. Gomez competed like the white Mexican that he is (in other words, Irish) and took an ungodly beating from the Bolton Blockbuster in front of a packed house in Birmingham. Along the way, however, he put Khan on his ass with a leaping left hook and on the whole brought out a level of brilliance in the young British sensation that was electrifying to see.

Talk about determination. Talk about a pressure fighter. On Saturday, Michael Gomez fought like Ricky Hatton talks about fighting, and Khan had to throw a near-constant stream of breakneck combinations, moving backward all the way, just to get enough space to take a breath in the ring. And oh, what combinations the kid was throwing in there. I swear to God, at one point he strung together seven consecutive left hooks. Granted, yes, Gomez leads with his face like he’s hunting down a shepherd’s pie, but still, a lesser mortal would have wilted in the face of that onslaught. Khan stayed cool and fired away and proved that, as far as the firing goes, he’s got ammo to burn. Accurate as hell. Watch that fight – you’ll be glad you did. The British pundits are saying that Khan’s performance against Gomez is a good sign that he should postpone his lightweight title ambitions and they may be right about that. His defense is flawed. Then again, think about the competition at 135, the potential big names – Pacquiao, Marquez, Diaz, Diaz. All of them – defense… flawed. If I were Frank Warren, I might just say fuck it and toss Khan into the deep end. Based on what I saw Saturday, I think he’ll swim just fine.

(P.S. – I’m out of steam here and I haven’t discussed Andre Ward or Arreola/Witherspoon. I don’t honestly have much to say about Ward – he fought a good fight against less-than-stellar competition. Check. As for Arreola, obviously he was going to win and he’s exciting as hell and I’m all for him.. but that DQ was bullshit. What are you thinking out there about that whole mess? That ref seemed like he was “Deliverance” material. Also, I want to see Arreola fight Sam Peter. Hell, I want to see Arreola fight Kimbo Slice.)