posted by Large

Manny (can I call you Manny? Mr. Pacquiao? Your Honor?), I offer you a sincere apology. The other day, looking to break out of a terrible prognostificating slump, and yes, looking to be perhaps just a little too clever for my own good, I picked David Diaz to beat you in your fight last night. I fear now that was a bit of an insult to you, and having witnessed what happened in there, I want to apologize as quickly as possible lest you take it into your head to beat the living shit out of me too.

Here are the ways in which I slandered you. I now officially take them all back and ask for your forgiveness:

1. I suggested that you might not take your power with you up to lightweight. This was most egregiously wrong on my part. In fact, I now suspect that you are going to be more powerful at 135 than you were at 130. This, I think, may not bode very well for Juan Manuel Marquez.
2. And on the topic of Juan Manuel Marquez, I suggested that you had been in some manner of decline in your recent fights, and that assessment I now see as a travesty. The fact of the matter is that these guys that you have been fighting over and over again – Barrera, Morales, Marquez – are all-time greats. For some reason, I forgot about this and decided that, because they gave you a hard time, that you were a mere mortal and not the Born To Beat Much Ass Superfreak Human Tasmanian Devil Spawn Death Machine that I now full accept you to be. Again, I apologize for any confusion on this count.



3. I also suggested that you would have trouble with a fellow southpaw, and I was at least glad to hear from you in your post-fight interview that you yourself wondered about this. I think, however, that we can both be assured now that you’re good on the “fighting southpaws” front. The arsenal of punches you whipped out Diaz’s poor head, the uppercuts, the right hooks! JESUS! Your reliance on the straight left in the past has clearly been borne of opportunity as a very effective weapon against the orthodox stance. I now see that you have a dazzling array of other punches in your arsenal and I will never again suggest otherwise.
4. I intimated that your conditioning might be suspect, and let me take this moment to really apologize for that. You’re obviously in unbelievable shape, and I get the feeling that fighting at 135 is only going to make you more dangerous in that respect. Yet another reason to fear you, whether you are a prospective opponent or just a lowly sportswriter who has denigrated you in print somewhere although in his heart of hearts he really didn’t mean it.
5. Finally, I gave the impression that I believed that you would be looking past David Diaz and this would adversely affect your chances against Mr. Diaz in a boxing contest. On this count, well, I still think you were looking past David Diaz. Where I was wrong on this one was on the “adversely affect your chances” business. And where I was really wrong was simply not to acknowledge the level of your true greatness. Fighters as great as you can look past the David Diaz’s of the world and still kick the shit out of them without breaking a sweat. In other words, I did not pay Your Greatness the proper respect, and for that I am deeply, deeply sorry.

Let me summarize, Manny, because I know that your English is not so great and I want to make myself plain as day. You are a powerful lightweight. You are not in any way in decline. Southpaws pose no problem to you – in fact, you beat them up worse than you beat up conventional fighters. You are in astonishingly good shape. You are Truly Great. And finally, I do not want to fight you ever for any reason.

Very VERY Respectfully Yours, Large

(p.s. Dear David Diaz – Let me be the first to fucking thank you for the most hilarious fucking post-fight interview I ever fucking heard. I bet Lamps and Manny Steward are still fucking laughing.)